What Bad Boys do to Good Girls
by Daisy Silk
Summary: Rated R for a reason, I'm James and you want me. I'm a bad boy and you want me. Did you think a story with me couldn't be R. If you did you don't know me. No one does. This is the nicest you'll ever see me. Personally, i don't care. Never did never will,
1. Mocho men, 1

What bad boys do to good girls

"Si man?" Asked a chestnut haired Quidditch star, an odd expression on his finely chiseled face.

"Pro J?" The other male in the locker room threw back, his long sleek pony tail spreading over his back as he bent down to grab his dragon hide school combat boots. His fingers weaving the laces before turning to notice his friend's facial gestures. "What the fuck is wrong with you? Didn't you get laid by Amy last night?" he looked curiously into James girl captivating brown eyes. James pushed his chin out and snorted.

"Yeah, what do you think I've been doing all week?" he shook his head, "You can be so dune headed." He said pulling a muggle white T-shirt over his manly chest, rippling his muscles in the process.

"Dude, there's no ass in here. You don't have to show off your knight in shining armor moves." Sirius rolled his head annoyed with how he mastered the chick magnet move he invented. His stormy gray eyes hencing him the _dreamy_ muarder. Not something for a fellow brag about, he would of rather of taken the complete _bad ass_ of the group, what the meat had taken in calling Prongs. The lucky bastard, he didn't know when he had it good. Even the mild stunt he pulled with the greasy Snape didn't knock him into the category. Those bitches never knew the whole story, he grinned. But they did know of his legendary bed skills. Even Slytherin ass wanted a piece of him, and hell, how could he deny them? Wild cats.

"What do you think of Lily?" his friend asked, shaking his hair from under the shirt, folding the sleeves to show off his radical tattoos. 

"Lily who?" Sirius raised his eyebrow questioningly, pulling on a T-shirt over his similar tattoos. 

James rolled his head to the side as if to laugh. "Red head, green eyes…" he lead in widening his eyes in an obvious gesture waiting for his friend to catch on.

"Oh… your talking about the hot book worm with the nice ass?" he asked grinning. "You're going to throw away a chest that Amy has for miss _perfect_?" Sirius raised an eyebrow, "Amy's loaded, I thought you would give her at least another couple days."

"Si Man, I've dated her for a week. That bitch can never shut up, she's driving me crazy." Prongs said slipping on some jell, adding more volume to his mess of hair.

"You have a point. Why do chicks talk anyways? They're only good for screaming your name at night. Hell if they didn't, I would personally rip out every vocal cord myself!"

"Hear, hear." Prongs grinned agreeing, shutting his locker.

"So how are you going to snag this one? Miss goody two shoes is always on the watch for anyone evading her personal space, remember the time I went to snog her last year and she punched my... err. Honestly, you know she wanted to." Sirius shook his head, while shutting his locker. 

"I was going to try the 'deep down I really am a _sensitive _guy' thing." Prongs tried as Sirius and he head for the door.

"Ha! You _sensitive,_ that don't mix." He threw his book bag effortlessly over his shoulder.

"I know, but the Prongs schedule has her listed next." He admitted sheepishly.

"So when are you going to break up with Amy?" Sirius asked.

"Tonight, why?" Prongs asked curious.

"Dude, distressed loaded chick, Peter wouldn't even let that ass get away." Sirius grinned.

*~*~*~*~*Author's note:

Yeah, I know about the controversial crap, so if your pissed, don't think I know. I have a milder fanfiction called Daisies if you're into that stuff. 

I'll up date after 10 reviews, thanks for reading!


	2. Sickeningly Perfect, 2

Chapter Two- Sickeningly Perfect

"I _love_ chocolate!" mumbled Breanna, popping a delicious morsel of Honeyduke's finest dark chocolate over her cherry red lips.

"Yeah, and I love charms." Lily's bright green eyes lit up further with the vary tantalizing thought.

"Can you be _anymore _boring?" asked Breanna rolling her black Indian eyes before returning to the individually wrapped chocolates sprawled all over lily's fluffy, red bed.

"Why? I do love it." Lily sprung around from in front of the expensive mirror her 'daddy' bought her in France. Her sparkling green robes flew around her thin and athletic legs up to her curvy hips that were modestly hidden under swaying skirts. Her startling, bright red hair framed her aristocratic face. Her delicate angelic freckles were sprinkled over the bridge of her nose as if artists spent hours perfecting them. Lily was sickening, but it didn't bug Bre, hell, she was just as hot and knew it.

"Yeah, just as much as the maunders love your ass." Breanna smiled wickedly at her best friend's reaction. Her strawberry kissed lips went into a dramatic downfall and her god sent eyelids reached the ceiling as her hand flew to her chest. 

"BREANNA!" she gasped repulsively, "That was COMPLETELY uncalled for! The marauders do no such thing!" she declared to try and Christianize her sex appeal.

Bre took her life in her hands, playing the lily ballpark game carefully. She examined her dark skin and perfect red finger nails, " That's not what _I_ heard." She smiled slowly, "Sounds like they have it in for you." Breanna's eyes crinkled with amusement. Oh the things you learn dating James's older brother Bryan!

"Oh dear! Where did you hear that Bre… do you think? I did nothing to provoke the young men!" Lily innocently ranted, fidgeting with her hair and nervously biting her lip in a pout. Her innocence almost made Bre throw up. The years taught her a lot, and she tried to control the need for rib shattering laughter at Lily's naive antics.

"Hun, you don't have to do nothing to be on that list. I wish I was. Hell! Sirius is built and James… those eyes were made to kill! Even mysterious Reamus has a knotty sex appeal." Said Breanna trying to fake daydreaming to ignore Lily's shocked stares. It was funny she wasn't use to her taunting by now, she did it everyday and still she classically reacted. Breanna was pretty sure Lily liked to react dramatically, it was just her thing. Miss dramatic, her best bud, life was great. She knew what was coming next.

"BREANNA!" Lily gasped, "What about Bryan! What would he think…"

"Lily, personally I don't give a fuck what he thinks. You can only live once!" Bre gave up storming out of the room. She shut the door forcefully smiling. She really didn't want James to break Lily's heart, just give her a good time. It was about time she got laid.

*~*~*~*Authors note:

Okay so I made Lily into the _most_ stereotypical, perfect, and that annoys you. The common Betty. Believe me, I almost threw up my self. Stomach it for now, Barbie just might turn human;0)

Thanks for all the great reviews I almost fell off my chair even though I suspect some people sending in more than one. Whatever floats your boat. I'm glad you're that into it. Hey you might even like my milder **_Daisies, the beginning, year one_**. In other words **feel free** to check it out. 

Again I'm going to do the evil **10 reviews** thing. I know I'm a cold heartless bitch. Whatever, I'll stop babbling now.


	3. Not so perfect, 3

Not so perfect

_"Annie's twelve years old_

_and in two more she'll be a whore._

_But nobody ever told her it was the wrong way."_

_-Sublime_

I lifted my head slowly, as the tears fought the dams of my stubborn heart_. They would never see me cry_. In no perfect life of theirs would they understand. I must keep smiling. Day after day that's all I ever did. Smile. Never had I really smiled, never had I really laughed. I was so fake I was unbreakable. Damn them, hell, fuck them all! Those assholes had NO FUCKIN idea of who I was and what **_I_** stood for.

All they did was stand there beating me down for doing the best I could. With a past like mine I was lucky to be alive let alone a high achiever! How would they like if…**_LILY DON'T THINK ABOUT IT!!!_** A voice throbbed through my head, doubling the splitting head ache that had begun around lunch. Around the time I received the letter**_… DON'T THINK!!!_** _Go ahead Lily: smile confidently, smile brightly. Show up the world, show them you can take it. Show them… _

"HEY LILY!!!" A strong male voice tore through my thoughts, bringing me back into the dim hallway of Hogwarts. Taking a deep breath and plastering my face with a smile I turned slowly, wanting with every ounce of my being to turn and run away. Run to the lake, dive in… wash away my troubles…wash away me. "Hey Lily!" A deep voice slaughtered my thoughts once again. I nearly jumped when I realized who it was. I took a quick glance at my hair color, it was still red, so 'Mister Prankster' wasn't about to point out another of his amazing pranks that 'Miss Perfect' fell into. Faking a smile I looked into his '_womanizer eyes' _that belonged tothe one and only James Harold Potter, Hogwarts' bad boy. He stood all six and five inches in front of me grinning like an alley cat. His pose of a confident Quidditch player idolized by the whole fucking school, gave me a strong urge to slam him one in the stomach. I smiled at the thought of seeing him double over, not only his stomach but ego bruised so badly he could barley stand up right. Oh the bloody joy that would bring!

"Hello James, how are you toady?" the question simple, but my voice sickened with the edge of glass. Hugging my books tighter, I wished he would just leave me alone. I felt fake, I looked fake, any moment someone or anyone was going to announce it to the whole world, James was too great of a candidate. He grinned, I noticed as his starting gesture for conversation. Great.

"Quite well, even better if a lovely _woman_ such as yourself would allow me to be her body guard for a day." James said, almost killing me with his egotistical offer. I nearly kicked myself, here I was worrying my big fat head off about seeming desperate and Potter was reeking of it! People these days! No one was real, just living an image spit out by the society's opinion about coolness and what was _in_ and _out_. It was disgusting; I rubbed myself to get off the build up of dirt.

"Why James, I think I've done fine enough all these years, so why all of a sudden must I require one?" I batted my eyelashes innocently feeling the storm of anger rise in my stomach. I DID NOT need to be **protected**. Way to go Potter, on my bad list right off the bat, never tell a chick (well at least me) she'll only survive with a macho man by her side! Even more so if you are talking about _yourself_, the idiot! I tilted my head sarcastically at his broad confident grin. Oh the agony he caused me, he really needed to be punched out or something. He slowly reached up to touch my face softly, leaving me biting my tongue.

"Because only now I've realized the _angelic lady_ that stands so vulnerable out on her own, and _I beat my self up_ inside for not offering _my services_ before." He said moving for my books. Aware how close his hands were to my chest, I quickly glanced at his face, his eyes obviously transfixed. I turned around taking deep breaths along the way. He was an inch from death or something of the sort. "What?" he ran to catch up with my fast pace breathing heavily, "Can't a guy be polite in these days? _Is that against your rules…_" he mockingly said, this time grabbing my book bag that almost fell to the floor unnoticed in my anger. Sure, I was acting really emotionally to the whole _vulnerable_ thing but… too much in my life always painted me as the _vulnerable_ one. And I was sick of it! If only the cocky little son of a bitch knew all the shit…_LILY!!! STOP THINKING YOU FUCKING MORON!!!!_ My voice screamed in my head warningly. My eyes were brimming as they always did when I was emotional, I was about to plummet, and he was forcing me into a hurricane.

"You should really stop smoking James, it's bad for your health." I repulsively pointed out changing the subject to the bulge inside his robe that stuck out wickedly due the flapping of his unbuttoned robes. Anything to take the conversation off me.

Anything to pinprick his inflated ego.

"You only live once." He grinned a little disturbed by the topic. Obviously no girl ever mentioned his smoking habit a turn off. Hell in the 70's it was _in. _

"I thought that was what you would say." I said smiling to my self quietly, looking down at my new shoes. That's what he would say. My father, leaning back in his rocking chair starring out at the stars, day dreaming about anything and everything. My father, his bright red hair the spitting image of my own, his gentle calm poetic ways installed into me. Oh how we would dance, sing, and laugh….until that day. That terrible heart exploding day that still haunted my dreams even though it was years past. My father was still my idol in every way and form. My father is dead. I shook with the memories of that day that changed my life in so many ways it insane. The cause of my fake identity, the cause of all my problems laid in a secret that was sworn to secrecy. I barley dare to terrorize myself over the thought of what could have been if…

"Yo!!! LILY, you in there? Hola! Como esta? Lily…" James face loomed in front of my face, unfogging my thoughts.

"Hmmm? Sorry, what were you saying?" I asked, snapping my head upwards. James brown eyes loomed in front of me, radiating heat. He really had nice eyes... _LILY STOP IT!!!_ Damn the Marauders, why did they all have to be complete hunks? Well, other then Peter, their little manservant, running errands for free 24/7 just to be in their group. It was _disgusting_ how he idolized the guys, hell!!! It was sickening how everyone idolized them! He even walked funny!

"We have a Quidditch match this Friday…and I was wondering if you would like to come. We're playing Slytherin, it'll be a great game." He smiled in his idea of a shy dude, trying to hide behind his hair, and trying to fake a blush in the process. He failed miserably, and this time I bit my tongue not to laugh like hell, what a dork!

J

She was buying it. God wasn't I the best actor or what?! She smiled shyly at me, her sexy little hips moving as she walked, a glorious sight next to mine. It would be fun to date her, I couldn't remember hearing about anyone dating her before. Then again I never paid attention to that crap. I was not into the whole girly gossip thing like Sirius, even though it was all about me. I checked my self out in a mirror as we walked by. My smooth walk was known alone to make chicks faint, let alone my handsome face. I was such a sex god, and the whole school, let alone world knew it. Lily batted her long eyelashes flirtatiously. "I'll have to check my schedule, I think I'm busy."

Oh so playing hard to get were we? Why don't you just give in girly, we were going to fuck sometime or another. I laughed confidently at the vary thought. "Sure I'll see you there." I grinned staring down at her rack, damn, I loved to being tall!

"James, stop staring at my chest." She said, nearly making me jump. No one ever told me to stop starring at their goods, what the hell was wrong with this bitch! I did what I wanted when I wanted, if I wanted to stare at her chest then I would. Her blazing green eyes shook me. We stopped at a door, she turned towards me, damn was she a babe.

"Whoa, down tiger. Your just so hot when your pissed… did you know that?" I asked hotly. She went pale, her hold on her books tightened, she looked like she was trapped in a bad movie.

"My bag, Potter." Her voice clear and crisp as she held out a hand timidly.

"See you at the match." I broke out the heart-breaking grin. Her face stayed lodged in a frown, my grin wavered.

"My bag." Her tone so startling icy my grin plummeted to the rundown hallway and her French leather bag placed in her hands hopelessly. "Good day, Potter." She said, disappearing behind a sliding door without a glance back as the world crumbled on my shoulders. She doesn't want me. My books tumbled noiselessly the floor after my jaw that was trapped in despair.


	4. Suspicions and lies, 4

Suspicions and lies

A hush fell over the room as I walked in carrying my always way too heavy load. I could feel the eyes of my classmates glued on my back as I passed. A room that was filled what chattering and laughter just moments ago was now just a fading rush of whispers that slowly elevated again in to the consent drowning of conversation.

"LILY!!! Oh my god… is it true!?" Angelia asked, rushing up to me, nearly knocking me over.

I turned, looking at her dumbly, "Is what true?"

"You know," her eyes widened even further, leaning in she whispered, "You and James dating." I dropped my books in shock. In no way did I ever think that was coming.

_"WHAT!?!"_

"Are you and James dating? He was talking about you as if you guys were…" She trailed off at the planted expression on my face of disgust. I found my breath after gapping for a few minutes blankly at Angelia's nervous face.

"James… Me???" I said looking around at the interested faces. "Seriously, what are you people on?!" I shook my head horrified. I pushed my way past Angelia to my seat next to Breanna. "James and me, going out." I laughed, "Not in this lifetime."

J boy

"Dude, that was the first time I've been turned down…." I clumsy confided in Sirius still strutting my stuff down the hallway to breakfast. Two cute 5th years passed, I winked and they nearly fainted before exploding in giggles.

"So the bitch is playing hard to get." He replied eyeing a couple other 6th years. Their hair tumbled, their hips danced and I could assure you the man downstairs was ready to come out.

"Yeah I guess so, at least I won't have to wait much longer." I said surely. There was no way she'd be able to resist the J Man much longer. But, hell, who could blame her when someone as blindingly handsome as I was on her tail? I mean, you have to give her credit for managing as long as she had. Not to admit it to herself any longer would be impossible. Yep, I had her right under my grasp.

"Cool. You know that motorcycle I was checking into?" Sirius asked, turning to me gleaming with a bright grin. I could still see him from a couple years ago when the grin was too large for his small face, appearing like it was about to topple off and crash into slitherings.

"Yeah, the flying one that was in the new issue of _Over The Stars and Back_?" I grinned. That thing was a babe magnet. Almost as hot as me, the sleek body, strong engine… it could run for hours. Did I mention I could too?

"That's the one." His grin grew till I was sure it would fall off and plummet endlessly to the depths below. "She a beauty, a really lady, that one." He daydreamed

"What about it? You getting it man?" I asked questioning the obvious statement. It was kind of pointless, but what the hell. That's what friends were for, damn I need a smoke.

"Yeah." He sighed as a couple bitches giggled powerlessly walking by.

"Right on! Let me borrow it sometime, I need some ass. I haven't been laid in like three days." I admitted sheepishly, pulling out my cig box and lighting one up.

"HELL NO, she's mine and all mine. No one, even you, is going to touch Daisy." He said looking horrified at the vary thought. I nearly ran into a wall.

"_Daisy?!_ Dude are you shitting me?!" I took a long drawl for the glorious machine that was already loosing its glory.

"Well she has to have a name…" he said trailing off, looking embarrassed. "It kind of fit." I choked on my smoke.

"Have you been reading girl magazines again?" I asked. Say no Sirius, say no. I can't have a friend who snitches _beauty_ magazines to read when on the pot. He started to walk faster, looking straight ahead. Holy shit, say no SI Man!

"Shut up." He replied. I nearly died in agony.

Breanna

"_Come one, Lily_!" I pleaded for the hundredth time. "Just come to the fucking game with us! You haven't been since…. like _forever_!" The game was going to start in like two minutes and look at her stubborn ass! Just sitting there, refusing to go just because she was asked by the school sex god who wanted the fuck her senseless.

"I told you like I've told everyone else a million times. I _have to_ get the extra credit report done for professor Flitwick!" she said actually raising her voice from her hunched position that was the same from a few hours ago. Her red hair spilled over her shoulder onto her green sweater, like some advertisement for shampoo. I stamped my foot.

"You have to be kidding me! You already have over a hundred percent in that class! Lily, come on!" I actually turned to whining. The most annoying thing in the world, and if it would get '_Miss Perfect'_ to join me, I was up for it.

"Why stop furthering your knowledge on important information you could use in the future? Why would I hurt myself like that? You go on ahead, I'll stay here and finish. If you like, when you get back we can create a plan to improve your knowledge before the N.E.W.T.S, you can never be too _prepared_!" She almost sung. I could punch her out at this point, she was making me miss hot guys. Let alone the hottest of them all, my boyfriend Bryan Potter, James's older brother.

"Lily please, I really want you to come with me today, and I'll study all Sunday with you about any useless information you want **_if you GO_**." I lead in to my last resort. Wait... what in the hell did I just say!!! Man, I was desperate, quite pathetic, sadly!

"Really?" she asked, her head popping up, I regretted it already. Think Bryan, think Bryan….

"Really." I agreed grinding my teeth. I was the world's largest idiot eating sand.

"Well… I guess a couple hours couldn't hurt." Lily said, standing up and smiling.


	5. Gryffindor vrs Slytherin, 5

Chapter 5

Gryffindor vrs. Slytherin

"I can't believe I agreed to this." I mumbled grumpily shivering from the fierce cold of the winter sun. Sitting in the stands between Bryan and Breanna was great, but the egotistical prat that was about to see me there wasn't. Bryan smiled at me from under his gold and maroon scarf, his eyes twinkling with merriment. His brother James and him were so different. Bryan, the sweetest, nicest and most considerate man at Hogwarts… while James…... let's just say the opposite and then some more.

"Why Lily," He grinned, "I thought you were the positive one." He said, his same brown eyes of his brother's twinkling with merriment. The only way you could tell them apart was their clothing and by Bryan's light brown hair. Just like James, he was a seventh year, even though oddly enough they weren't twins. Just like James, he was handsome and ten times more a valuable catch then any other guy around. Breanna was so lucky, other then physical resemblance, they were complete opposites.

"I am," I said defiantly, "just not when it comes to your brother." I rolled my eyes at the stunts he was pulling lately, the moron. I adjusted my scarf waiting for him to come out of the Gryffindor entrance, imagining how my time could be so much more fun by reading a dusty novel in a shack… with a vampire trying to suck my blood. Hell even adding a horrible Death Eater would even be better, at least that way I could practice for a Defense Against the Dark Arts exam. .

"Why what has he been doing to you?" he asked, bumping his shoulder in to mine jokingly, a famous sly grin of the Potter's plastered across his face. His sense of style also varied from James. He wore beige Kaki's, and a dressy shirt over a white one, all under a large Quidittich brand sweatshirt. While James was never seen without his leather jacket, black and brutal were his chances with me.

Breanna squealed while pushing me back to get into our conversation. "Oh!!! Anything and everything to try and win Lily's lov'in!" Her eyes sparkled with a sigh. Bryan and I exchanged glances while trying to keep down a snicker to Breanna's idea of affection.

_"Lov'in?"_ he questioned, trying to keep his face serious, not really succeeding at all with a small grin played with the corners of his lips and a cough to cover his discretion.

"Yeah, he's been following Lily around and..." Breanna tried before I cut her off.

"_And_ annoying the hell out of me! The only reason I'm here is because _your girlfriend_ threatened _me_ for hours before we decided _she _would allow _me_ to lead _her _through a day of studying to further _her _ownknowledge for the NEWTS. And that's all I have to say." I said sticking my chin up stubbornly at the thought of actually coming to see a match just because of Potter. I almost shivered at the thought of being another adoring face in the crowd, watching his every moveas if he was the great Merlin himself. They made any sensible person sick!

"Wow, Breanna _studying_? She must of really liked the sound of her best friend dating another Potter." He joked as she quickly stood up. To my surprise she didn't leave but turned towards Bryan and me, and daintily plopped her self down on his lap receiving a few jealous stares form the group of six years from in front of him. She slowly tangled her tan arms around his neck like they do in all of the chick flicks.

"You're just so **_good_** to me, Bryan. I just wanted the same for a friend I know _so well _I could write her autobiography." She said batting her eyelashes sweetly. I felt like I was going to vomit, I was choking in all the foreplay.

I turned my head with a roll of my eyes. **"LADIES AND GETLEMEN," **the announcer's voice boomed, **"WELCOME TO OUR WEEKLY MATCH. TODAY WE HAVE GRYFFINDOR VERSE SLYTHERIN!"** I turned to Bryan and Breanna in the eardrum shattering cheer to find them unfazed in a very inappropriate lip lock. No matter how many times I saw it didn't mean I wanted to see it again.

"YO! YO!" I said shouting into their ears after spotting my friend Amanda waving at me from across the 'death isle' separating the two houses at competition. Perfect. Mr. Potter (James), just wait till you see me now, I grinned wickedly. **"BRYAN!" **I bellowed to finally get a response with a punch in his arm that landed him.

"Hmmm…" he questioned opening one eye as Breanna kept at it. I ignored their position, unlike the staring, almost sobbing six years.

"I'm going to hang with Amanda." I grinned at his startled expression. The shock causing his whole body freeze, Breanna looked up at me as if I told her I was a hairy baboon who likes to dance the Hula in a thong.

**"WE HAVE SIRUIS AND BONES AS BEATERS FOR GYRFFINDOR TODAY!"**

"But… But…" she said startled, "James, he'll flip!" she looked positively terrified.

**"LONGBOTTOM AS KEEPER!"**

"I Know." I smiled innocently electrified, "See you later… oh yeah, hold on to this for me." I said unraveling my red and gold scarf and tossing it at Bryan's amused face.

**"ARNOLD, GREEN, AND …_POTTER_ AS CHASERS!"** The crowd roared, oblivious to life beyond Quidittich.

"Have _fun_." He grinned at my back knowing absolutely what I was doing as I made my way over to the widely smiling Amanda. I could feel the whole stadium's eyes fixed on my back nervously as I crossed the life and death line as the first survivor to not suffer a hex. Out of the side of my eye the teams soared around excitedly trying to show off more then the other.

**"AND BURN AS SEEKER!!!"**

"Lily!" Amanda smiled scooting over to make room for me as Slytherin's glares tried to burn a hole through my back. I smiled confidently at Amanda, knowing they couldn't touch me as her guest.

"Hey Amanda, mind if I join you? I was getting sick watching Breanna and Bryan suck faces again." I grinned as she patted the seat reassuringly.

"Of course, but may I ask who you're rooting for?" She grinned curiously, as everyone's ear seemed to perk up annoyingly. Why couldn't everyone just mind there own fucking business?!

I smiled at her pale face. "Slytherin. Did you think I'd ever root for a team with _Potter_?" I said almost snickering thankful with the house's new ease. Amanda smiled gratefully, friends from the beginning, even though as found odd, I could recognize her subtle hint to make myself worthy to be left alone from the rivalry between the houses. I sat down happily next to Mandy (Amanda), as warm green blanket was pressed around my shoulders softly.

"Here, you looked cold." A pale, common face greeted me. His black raven hair feathered around his face in a calm 70's muggle style that had taken the wizarding world by storm.

"Thanks Snape. I almost didn't see you there, how have you been? I miss talking to you because of … well being associated with Gryffindor." I smiled warmly from under the large plaid silver and green blanket that I had moved up to cover my head. Snape and me were known to have polite conversations. Basically the only rival messengers who were willing to collaborate our house's ideas at meetings. His mouth twitched in a smile but quickly downplayed into his famous grave expression.

"Lily, I'm glad you final realized what house is over the other." He droned captivatingly.

"Hey there, slow down those snakes, I'm still a proud Gryffindor. I just fully support Slytherin when it comes to Quidittich." I explained. His grave expression flickering into a frown as the Slytherin glances turned into hostile glares once again.

"Cool it Snape," Mandy sensed trouble, "She is wearing _green_ not red. And," she said most threatening of all, "_she's my guest_." I could feel the thickness of the air and could barely breathe from tension that ran freely in my veins.

"Sorry Lily, I forgot that you have the same _passion_ for your house, as I do for mine." Snape said tying the loose ends.

James

The quaffle is mine. No point around it, it was meant for _me_, hell I am a Quidittich star. It flies in my hands and it's meant for _me_ and only _me._ _I have to win_. My team _always_ has to win. As long as _I_ was playing we would, I didn't see why the bastards of Slytherin even _tried_. Lily was in the audience, secretly cheering for me, and only me. Smiling I thought of her long flowing hair, and how great it would be in _my _victory party tonight I had planned…. with it curling down _my_ back.

"James!" Arnold shouted throwing me the quaffle as we zipped in and out of Slytherin rode kill. I could see Lily's sexy smile brightly shinning on me as I picked up speed.

"Hey Green!" I shouted startling the poor Slytherin girl who looked like she been hit with a bludger one to many times. I grinned wickedly as Green read my mind. He came behind, and I, in front. She scattered like leaves in the blowing wind. I laughed joyfully in good fun, enjoying the boo's from the green side. Those losers, I rock and they were just hiding the truth of the situation from them selves. I felt sorry for Slytherin, I really did. They just weren't appreciative enough to take in my good looks, dude, I was a _sexy_ beast! The speed, the air, the rush Quidittich was the best. I looked around to see no one around me… perfect.

**"AND POTTER FAKES KEEPER…AND SCORES!!!! ANOTHER TEN POINTS FOR GRYFFINDOR!!"** The girl nearly jumped out of her seat. And that's when I saw her. That's when the cold winter sun glistened her hair. That's when I saw Lily's booing face. And that's when I ran into a Quidittich pole and blacked out.


	6. Turning to Snape, 6

LILY

**_"AND POTTER FAKES KEEPER.AND SCORES!!!! ANOTHER TEN POINTS FOR GRYFFINDOR!!"_** The blond announcer squealed annoyingly as we passionately booed in response. **"YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME!!! THAT WAS A FOUL!!!"** I shouted passionately as James cockily looked around at his adoring fans. I booed louder, forcing my arm to punch the air wilder. He turned his head looking at me surprised; his grin wavered into a confused frown. Yeah James, you brilliant boy, did you actually believe I, Lily Samantha Evans, would ever root for you? You have to be kidding me. I glared at him, booing on top of my lungs when it happened. I didn't mean for it to happen. The moron further more proved his stupidity by running into a pole. I watched startled as his body slid unconsciously falling off his broom and plummeted towards the ground, only his cape failing widely around him. The shock of the whole situation took control of my body, and as I finally broke free I discovered it was to late. I left my wand in the castle.

Si Man

"Holy SHIT!" I cursed racing towards my best bud's plummeting body. James and the stupid pranks he pulled. But this wasn't one, he was 50 feet from the fucking ground and not moving. Why couldn't I've been a fucking seeker?!!! MOVE!! I shouted to my broom, feeling the fear set in. Closer and closer yet, sadly so far away, I could see his body, falling. Flattening myself to the broom, I reached out.

Bryan

"James." I barley said above a whisper watching my eccentric brother tumble to his death when all I could do was push through the crowd trying to reach for his life. I watched as Sirius made the dive in hope, crossing my fingers in what looked to come as the crowd flattened back in to their chairs in horror. All I could do was stand and watch.

_Sirius reached out,_

_My brother failing cloak,_

_Black and dripping in blood._

A hand

Dark and stormy 

_Enclosing. _

_My throat _

_My breath_

_Enclosing in darkness, _

_All I could do was scream _

_silence._

A silent roar,

_No breath,_

_Slowly echoing._

A grasp on his arm, 

_Strong and powerful._

Rising, and still rising.

_Slowly rising,_

_Air to my lungs._

_Pounding in my legs, _

_Air beneath my feet.  
_  
My brother above me Sirius lets go.

Dropped softly in my arms, Bloody head, Bloody mind, Bloody faints of relief, The first of my worries.

LILY

My breath was caught in my throat, and I only realized it when Bryan finally caught the body of his brother safely. "Damn, that had to hurt." Mandy shook her head in amazement.

Snape snorted, "What can you expect from Mr. Dufuss? The moron stumbles into everything blindly. Only luck gets the jerk fame. The stupid roles of society put the worst on top, only a true genius can cast himself in front of the line." He said with a hint of a whine, while I rolled my eyes.

"Snape," I said keeping in eye on Bryan strongly carrying his brother's limp body across the lawn, "Did you just contradict yourself terribly?" I teased, trying to lighten up the situation, ignoring my bright red ears which contrasted my blue lips. I smiled friendly at his stern face, trying to bring out a smile and oddly enough succeeded.

His grin, odd and foreign but weirdly cracked, "I'm glad to see Evans hasn't fallen into the stupidity act like most of her people in her house." The compliment of course had to come with a twinge of bitterness, I swallowed the good with the bad.

"Snape, What did I warn you about my honor for my House?" I asked batting my eyelashes innocently angered.

"Opps. I did it again." He grinned


	7. Sleeping bad boy awakens, 7

"You know Potter is awake? They're releasing him today, Bryan was so worried, _you know_, after the fall and all- " Breanna blabbed annoyingly one October morning as I shifted my bags restlessly. I thought all the Potter talk a couple weeks ago was terrible. It didn't even compare, I was now officially drowning in Potter gossip. Like the only sane fly in a jar of sticky hunny. It was disgusting how they all seemed to hover around the hospitable doors, just wishing with all their might to catch a glimpse. A eyeful of lush male candy they said. James, a Handsome Hunk with his arrogant smirk and black leather jacket, the epitome of the school bad boy, was there no end in sight? I had enough. Whipping out my wand without catching Breanna's gaze was easy enough, she was dancing on clouds with the stars in her eyes as she described some guy's ass. I could of sworn she was hit with a babbling curse. 

"OH NO!!!" I faked a cry, dropping my wand as my things spilled all over the hall way (Thanks to an over enthusiastic severing charm.), luckily I was right on time as the bell ringed. Bre sighed deeply and bent down to help me gather my things… not part of the plan. "Just go Breanna! I'll catch up with you later." I said looking up at her towering figure with a wavering expression of distress and relief.

"Are you- " she tried to ask, shifting her weight onto her other foot, unwilling to go into Mr. Loony's classroom where he already seemed to be pelting tardy students with a never ending supply of water balloons.

"YES!!! Just run, he won't get you _too badly_." I lied terribly. 

"_I'll come with you_." Reamus piped up from out of no where, making me topple over in surprise. Breanna gaped openly at Reamus's unbuttoned shirt that revealed his chest handsomely. Her mouth closed and opened as she swallowed forcefully. I almost laughed at her hormones. "Hey Lily, You're good at charms right? I'm having some trouble on the whole disarm your enemy with out killing it thing…" His grin, drippingly savvy as Breanna stuttered blondly 

"I'll met you by the lake after classes today." I offered. Just get out of here _Potter _lovers, mention ANYTHING about him, I swear I'll strangle you! I warned them viciously in my head, and as if Lupin read my mind he casually offered Breanna his hand what she dreamily grabbed with out a good bye or a care about the thousands of pounding gallons of water about to be released over her head.

"See you later, _Tiger_." He winked like a true Marauder. Rolling my eyes I quickly gathered my supplies and fixed my bag with a quick flick of my wand. Trudging the other way, trying to surpass the laughter as Breanna's screams of reality reached top pitches. Even with her sane, I couldn't imagine standing in the chokingly Potter worshiping school any longer. Walking in the shadows my height seemed to shrink with all the thoughts of last week. The dirt lay so thick on the cobble stones it formed a thick layer over my newly polished boot lazily as I kicked the ground, depressingly dragging my feet to the beat of my own drum. I don't know what carried me towards the lake, like a leash around my middle dragging me through the school past the class rooms. Had I been listening, had I been paying attention, I would have been prepared for what happened next. 

Like a rat with its tail caught in a trap, I struggled as the reality of the situation finally hit home. By then it was too late. By then I had no chance. Only a vain struggle for release kept my limbs moving for a chance of freedom. But the square hand over my mouth powerfully stood, mockingly, as a sleeping charm invaded my senses before knocking me stone cold. As a silky material washed over body, I was dreaming peacefully as my attacker stood vainly in the shadows as his second man scurried to clean up the evidence of a struggle.

*~*~*~*~*Authors Note: 

Thanks for the great reviews, and no to letting my friends read my stuff. Anyone I know isn't aloud too, that's my rules, whatever. I love your praise though, I thought for a moment I was Elvis Presly.

Yes it's short, You'll get the next chapter in **ten. **Sorry, but this one had to be short, or else I'd just be babbling worthless, unentertaining imfo at you just to make it longer.

****


	8. The Mysteries of Life, 8

The throbbing in my head pulled me evilly out of my sweet dreams. Opening one eyelid I yawned, stretching widely. Another sunny day full of lies and deceit was about to begin. Lovely. I ran a hand through my hair and opened my eyes for the first time. A tangible, stonewall encircled the cold room. A fireplace blazing with flickering flames at the foot of the bed, and a shadow. A shadow no sensible girl would want to wake up to and view. That's when it all came flying back to memory, a dark hole I would gladly of forgotten. James Potter stood at the end of my bed with a proud chiseled face. In surprise I couldn't muster a word to fill the peculiar silence. Somewhat relived, I must admit when he broke the dreadful empty silence.

_"A rose in a meadow,_

_A rose at sea,_

_A rose within the vines,_

_How lovely you are to me."_

I blinked in surprise, the last thing I expected was to hear Potter reciting poetry, but oddly enough he finished with a lasting thought. "_You know, they say you want what you can't have_. Is that true _Tiger_ Lily, or just a famous quote holding no logic behind it?"

"What do you want _Potter_?" I asked annoyed, trying to get up. The comfortable bed held too much of a horizontal Mambo possibilities for Potter. Struggling, I looked up at Potter in horror, in return he ignored my stare to continue, unfazing him that my legs and butt were presently stuck to the feather bed.

"First off, I want you to call me by my first name. The whole Potter thing is sexy, but I think it's building a barrier between us. Second of all," Grins suggestively, "_You know what I want."_

"Potter- " I warned, my position uncomforting.

"James, my rose."

I glared at his stupidity, "_James_," I said sweetly, "_You'll never have me_. I don't know what your little plan is _mister _but…" I felt a twinge of fear as he raised his hand amused.

"_Mister_? Didn't they use that in only the 1770's for what? Like a week." James said, snorting sarcastically.

_"But_ whatever it is, you better think twice. Now unstick me before I strangle you senseless!" I finished reassuringly out loud. He grinned tauntingly, leaning against a bedpost.

_"Really?" _he asked. His leather jacket previously tossed into a corner of the room already forgotten, like one of his many _roses._ It was hard to admit, but he would have been attractive beyond belief if it wasn't for his over shadowing arrogant and condescending personality reeking for the need of improvement. His muggle jeans were at liberty, but no were near gangster baggy with the family of five theory. Only sagging over his hips a couple inches to give a teasing peak at his boxer's brim that lay below. He sported a relaxed football shirt, an improvement that didn't leave the harsh appearance of his usual muscle tees. Any other girl would of fainted with his determination to get into their pants, but personally, it freaked me out. I mean come on! What sane person would kidnap an unwilling stranger just to do Merlin knows what with? Can we say mentally unstable!

"Yes, _now untie me, or face the consequences_." I warned, sticking my chin up in the air. How dare he tie me up like a little _ragdoll_, like he could do what he pleased with me!

"May I point out, _princess_, the only thing you can do to me is jab me with your fists. Seeing that Bludgers seem to have no affect on me, answer some things for me, and I _might_ let you go. Oh and why I'm at it, no one knows that you are here, so don't try to delay your answers." He said teasingly, like he was the most brilliant man as fear tiptoed up on me. I was on a bed, without a wand, completely defenseless…with Potter to top it off with. I was screwed in every possible way and form.

"**Yes**, people will **know** _I'm _missing, Breanna will…"

"Breanna, I can assure you is in Sirius's room having the time of her life." I ignored his reassured expression, even though his tone of voice was sending chills down my spine. I need a way out. The room we were in was way too haunting. The walls closed in leaving me straining to get out of the enclosure, like a captured wild tiger being sent tied down and struggling for freedom, to a foreign Zoo.

"Bryan will…" I panicked.

"Bryan is my brother, Reamus let it slip how you'll be gone all day, due to a _sickness_ in your family. Of course the rest of the school will believe this as well."

"Reamus…" I said. Taking advantage of the name he had offered.

"Yes, my best _friend_." He said superciliously as I realized my mistake of my generosity. He seemed to feed on my discomfort.

"SNAPE!" I brilliantly came up with, remembering our Head Person's meeting scheduled for later that night. "He knows I would cancel my meetings professionally, not as brief as word of mouth." I proudly stated at the idea. Yep, he'd save me! I was home free from this torture chamber. Thank Merlin for meddling enemy connections!

"And he'll be taken care of." He slyly grinned as I could nearly see the pornographic images already running through his head. I swallowed down the rising chunks of morning's breakfast.

"I can see you have had years of experience with kidnapping helpless school girls." I grunted crossing my arms, squeezing any sense of comfort I could out of the situation, while blowing a strand of fiery red hair out of my bold green eyes_. Look strong, Lily, be unbreakable_. Hide that nervous twitching lip. Think of charms. Think of Hexs and Jinxs to _torture Potter_ with.

"Actually, I would hate to disappoint you, but you seemingly are the first. I must say for myself, it has gone rather smoothly along, hasn't it?" he grinned condescendingly.

"You jackass." I retorted, imagining all the ways I could kill him. I let a wicked grin slip of the thought of pouring scalding fire pus over his body, then relieving him with some Mandrake music, or even better, Brittney Spears.

"Oh, resorted to name calling have we?" He replied haughtily.

**"How can I not while talking to your _sarcastic, arrogant, grotesque_** **HIDE!" **I hissed bitterly the first thing that came to mind, fuming with annoyance of the whole fucking week. The blissful thoughts of Potter screaming for mercy vanishing from mind. UHHHHH! He's so fucking annoying! Who gave birth to such a…. a….HITLER!

"You know," he arrogantly replied, "Don't insult me while sitting on a **_bed_**, it reminds me of Slytherin's women." He grinned, pleased with his self, as I nearly blew steam with my scarlet face. I huffed, displeased glaring at the cold wall, the sight of Potter seemingly too much of an asshole then he appeared before. How could anyone stand him! "Oh don't worry, _rose_, I find you much more attractive then the Slytherin Bitches." He said assuredly, as I could nearly slap him. But of course he was out of reach with my butt glued to the bed.

"You know, _Potter_," I said starring off into space, unable to look at his repulsive face any longer. "For your Bad Ass appeal, you certainly take it to heart." I said, commenting boredly, hiding my fuming anger. Did any one have a fire extinguisher? I certainly needed it at that moment, I was about to blow. (And not James you sickos:0)

"_It's James, for the last time_. And why else did you think they would call me _Hot Bad Ass_ of the group? Is there suppose to be a hidden meaning I'm missing!" He asked, crossing his arms annoyed. Ha! Who was in control now! Take the bait you little bastard! "Actually, you never seemed the bad ass type to me." I said, faking a bored voice. I could see his eyebrows raise surprised, SCORE! AND THAT'S A TOUCHDOWN FOLKS!

"Really?" he twitched nervously.

"Yeah. You are so _insecure_, and detached from life its self, you are doomed a _loser_ for the rest of your life." I said, looking him in the eye. Anger flashed across his face…opps.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP LILY! I'M THE ONE IN CONTROL HERE! DON'T MESS WITH ME!" he roared, kicking the bed with anguish while pulling out his long wand. I shrunk back into the pillows, feeling fear take over my body. What did you do this time, Lily! He was so large and powerful… I was so weak and timid, fear pulled me into its tornado. I could feel my gasps for air, strangely loud and foreign. And the blackness evaded my thoughts, cursing and overwhelming. I struggled to get out but the fight worthless. I was asleep and defenseless within seconds.

Potter

"UHHHH! NOTHING GOES MY WAY ANYMORE DOES IT!" I shouted kicking a wall in fury. Lily she hit a nerve, she really did. I was a man, NOT insecure. I stood tall like my father was said to do, I didn't cower like _a girl _when things didn't go my way. Pacing hastily I turned the thoughts over in my mind as I breathed heavily. I was **A MAN**. Brave, strong, and determined… just like my father. I _never_ cowered, _never_ gave in, I was **_strong_**. And no future girl of mine would _ever_ sit on filthy Slytherin's side… but so was Lily. So slippery no man had ever been able to pin her down… _yet_. I grinned. That was until I came along. I stopped suddenly.

_"I'm acting like a child…"_ I realized suddenly as my face fell. _No man_ would ever raise his voice to a _lady_. No man would of _ever_ acted so violently, or be so quick to anger. I crumpled to the stone like an old coat; "_No man would ever curse at a women_."

"Good job, _sonny_. I was about to come out of my frame and personally beat you over the head!" A old raspy voice said logically. I jumped up, turning towards the voice pathetically. I found a small pheasant grandfather, with an old hoe shaking his head weakly before coughing up the dust that lay thickly all over his photo. "Always told _my sons_, curse in front of an lady, you'll be cursing your life of doom in the unholy below." He shook his head sitting down on a haystack. "Yep, By the way you can call me John. I was never one for formal wish wash."

I looked at him in disbelief. I never noticed the Farmer before, and I found it surprising, I always used the Mirror passageway to find peace on the shores of a deserted lake. "I'm James." I cautiously replied.

"Nice to met you James" He coughed, "Could you..." he hinted at the dust on his canvas.

"Oh yeah, sorry." I said, grabbing my wand to perform the simple cleaning spell.

"Ah…. Yes. Much better." He said breathing freely, "Now where were we? Oh yes… what are you going to do?" he asked as I gave him a blank stare.

I scratched my disheveled raven black hair blankly. "About what?"

I watched as he shook his head, "Aren't you the smart one, the empty pond between your ears." He sarcastically replied. Then rolling his eyes like it was obvious, "The Lady, lad! The Lady you terrified before turning your wand on her!" He said as I felt guilt rising, I didn't mean to scare Lily. Once said, it was obvious I did.

"What _can _I do?" I asked looking up to the painting for guidance.

"Are all wizards as dimwitted as you sonny? To grab a woman's affections you give it time and tender care to grow. You can't just press your self onto her. She needs room to grow, evidence that proves you worthy. Take my wife for example. She would only look at me after I planted and seeded the largest crop in town. She was a beauty, that one." He smiled sadly.

"What happened?"

"Not all characters start out as paint and canvas… dark lords can tare apart families with a snap of their fingers. It was a shame I thought it would never happen to me… I could have been ready for that cool spring night…" he trailed off with the saddest expression of grief I ever witnessed.

"I'm sorry…" the only thing I could say to a man's life of misery. I was a cold heartless jackass who was way too luckily to be moaning about my life as a rich, sought after, insecure and immature asshole.

"Yeah… well life doesn't always deal you the hand you want does it?" he coughed, this time to hold back a waterfall. "So what are you going to do to make up your mistakes to the little misses?" he asked, at first I didn't understand. I never thought of Lily before as little. Glancing over at the bed I saw how true it was. Physically she was small, thin and wispy, but in every other way she was Merlin.

"Can't I apologize?" I asked searching my mind for the thing I never did before.

"That's a start. But for what? Your actions or words? For bringing her here today against her will, and forcing her to listen to your harsh words? What boy?" He asked as I realized my mistake.

_"I do everything wrong don't I?"_ I stated more then asked turning to Lily, the goddess that graced the sultry red bed.

"Seeing things a little clearer now, aren't you?" he asked with a small grin.

"Yeah, I think I am."

Authors note:

Surprising, eh? And kind of long too! Hurray! She can be taught. I'm tired and going to bed now, this cold I've got is driving me insane and wearing me out!

It's kinda of amazing though, is James not a complete ass? Looks likes he's starting to show some remorse… but will it last? hmmmmm…

Any questions you want to ask me?

Any confusion?

Anyone have a site that also would like to host this story or my other one?

Thanks for all of the great reviews also. I was going to write a lot more but I'm tired and it would of taken me a couple more days to make my self finish and edit it. But believe me… the next couple chapters will be interesting. I'm deciding right now if I want to play by the rules or not. Warning: Something that's not suppose to happen… might. Oh yeah as for this text change… my computer is odd and will not let me make it into times roman to be like the rest.

Anyways I'm blabbing was to much with no clear thought or logic. Thus is so when I'm sick. Just be glad I wrote this before and only edited it today. Could you imagine how messed up I could make this scene? Okay more then it was already… anyways, I'm going to stop typing now…

Oh yeah one more thing… thanks to everyone who has me on their favorites list. You rock!


	9. Swirling colors, 9

9

"Lily… Lily… wake up." James voice whispered from across valleys and mountains, like a distant usher in the wind. Memories came sweeping back, flooding my mind without the pleasant happenings as someone would have expected after being awakened from such a restful slumber. I sat up quickly as everything came into focus, James sat cross-legged on the red bed, closer to me then last time. I naturally jumped back up into the pillows realizing I was no longer stuck.

"Lily, listen to me. I let you go. Now at least _listen_ to what I have to say!" He sorta whined, and for the first time I looked up into his eyes, I nearly fell back stunned. He never had such an expression working on his face. His face was mixed with worry… for what? The need of acceptance…why? And like a townsman needing to pled his case…when? When did James ever have to describe why he did something stupid? James was always so sure of himself, why all of a sudden did he long for peace? What could HE be worrying about? His reputation? This would put it in concrete! I soon forgot my nerves when I glanced into his warm chocolate brown eyes. Eyes that never had installed warmth or compassion in them before. It was startling, and I knew against my better judgement when I sat down softly to listen to his words. 

"First off… I'm sorry." I nearly choked and died.

"Who are you and what did you do with James?" I questioned before thinking. To my surprise he looked into his hands and then back up at me. He had a foreign look in his eyes I never saw before, nor could describe.

"Yeah… about that… jackass act. I'll I can say is sorry… for this whole thing. Bringing you here, tying you up, doing everything against your will… but you have to admit it was a great plan…" he stated cockily as I glared. His grin broke. "Ummmm….yeah. But what gave you the right to sit with the _Slytherins_? _You_ caused_ me _to hit my head and embarrass _myself_ in front of the whole damn school and…" 

"And SHUT UP! I have every right to sit where I want! In case you missed it I was catching up with an old friend and…"

"And who gave you permission to do so?" He asked, and I could of slapped him. 

__

"I DO NOT NEED A MALE'S PERRMISSION TO DO ANYTHING!" ahhhhhH!!!! He infuriated me horribly.But his eyes were laughing and I realized the trap that I fell into. "Ha ha ha h…Shut up." I replied turning my head. He could be so much like his bloody brother sometimes.

"No. Seriously now, why did you?" he asked curiously. I didn't want to answer. Answering would prove to him he could get under my skin. He could piss me off. "Lily… answer me." He demanded.

"You're a little impatient aren't you?" I said, trying to change the subject.

"You're not answering my questions." He replied annoyed, as if to try and control his anger. Poor guy, he was hopeless. He had nothing going for him upstairs…_zip_ …_nada!_

"You also have an anger management problem." I fired like a battleship, fighting in the dark, hoping anything would hit.

"You also have bitch problem." He said condescendingly. _SCORE!!! Enemy hit, prepare our crew for war!!!_

"I'm not the one, look at yourself. You have a knack for picking bitches." _Take the bait Potter, I prayed, c'mon, take it!_

"Yeah, look where that's got me. The largest of her kind yet." He meant for the words to sting, and yet I had to surpass a laugh. _Great grammar sonny, who taught you, eh? Wait…a did he just insult me!?!_

"You're an Asshole."

"You didn't just call me an asshole, or did you?" His voice murderous. 

"Yeah, you have a problem with it?" I felt like a Beverly Hills, valley girl, resting the urge to snap my fingers in front of him in a 'take that' gesture, made famous by muggle Hollywood. Noting on the sidelines I might be the one with the problem. My face felt like my hair, I could see he was enjoying himself.

"Only I'm allowed to call my self that." He said as I forgot to laugh, _damn just a buee, matie, find another target to sink._ His grin was contagious, I tried to control mine.

"You are so egotistical…"

"What was that?" he asked suddenly, serious, turning his head to the oak door. 

"Your mama…" I said stopping as his hand was pushed in my face. That's when I heard it. A slow and quiet mumbling growing larger and louder till I was sure it was right out side. _Thank Merlin! Finally someone here to save me!_ "WE'RE IN HERE!" I screamed as Potter whipped around facing me with a panicked face before pouncing, covering my mouth. I struggled to get free making as much noise as I could. He was lying on top of me tauntingly as I struggled to get out. _He is too strong, but he does smell good…_ I slapped myself mentally. I was pinned to the bed by a Quidditch champion. Just like a bass, coming to that they were hooked on a fishing line, I thrashed wildly.

__

"Lily…Shut up!" he whispered panicked, "**_No one_** in Hogwart_s_ knows about _this_ place." He warned panicking as a new haunting voice drifted from the hallway.

**__**

"I thought you said this place was vacant, Vincent."

My eyes widened. _Holy crap. _James looked down on me, his face an inch away from mine… terrified. I didn't dare to move. His eyelashes seemed to flutter, butterflies' surrounding his melting orbs, swirling with worry. That's when I realized my stupidity graduated to a new level of moronic idioticy.

**__**

"Sir… I thought it was. Sir…"

The noise stopped. 

Seconds ticked…

Silence.

James moved slowly, a finger to his lips. A universal gesture calling for silence that I even understood. He quietly moved off of me, slithering to the ground, the bed creaked evilly, blocking James from sight of the door. He grabbed my hand as I inched. Slowly. Seconds ticked loudly in my eardrums. I looked terrified to the door as I reached the edge of the bed… the circular doorknob twisted as I froze. James thankfully saw and panicked, yanking on my arm, as I tumbled off the bed like a doll… onto him. Not with out a victory for me, I couldn't hide the smile. My elbow into his gut… a beautiful thing. 

"**HMMPPHHFF" **He rolled over in pain. I winced as my body thumped onto the cold ground. 

__

"Where did the big, bad, tough Quidittich player go?" I groaned as he glared at me through his face exploding with wimpy pain. And glare was all he could do, the door was slammed open and we turned hastily on our stomachs to see what lay behind it. 

My eyes opened in horror. 

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Dumbldore stood wearing a pink string bikini!

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Just kidding

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Three tall, stalky men stood, black capes surrounding their bodies hauntingly. I gasped and felt James's body go rigid next to me. His breathing quickened as he endured the sight of three Death Eaters. Murderous and ready to kill their eyes passed over the room, I slapped a hand over my mouth to hide my panicking breath as their sight flickered over the bed. The tallest one in the center, with his face still covered seemed to keep his glare lingering at us.

**__**

"Spread out." His voice deadly. My body trembled in pure terror. The attacks…killings for pleasure… headlines of past articles raced through my head.

They followed his orders, and stepping into the room they moved tauntingly, their black cloaks flowing out after them, like their dark shadows. They looked in closets and behind chests. I turned my gaze to James. What are we going to do? I looked to him for guidance, startled to see his face with the same expression. Whatever happened to his sure attitude? Further more, what was I going to do? _Oh Merlin… I don't want to die!!!!_ Lights seemed to shutter as my father's voice flashed through me. 

*

"When Heroes fall, in love or war, they live forever." His old tired face looking to my young one. "But Lily… first they have to go there." 

*

I nodded in understanding as I did when I five years old. Be fierce Lily. _I was not going to die lying down. _

"Let's bring these _bastards_ to the Ministry." I said looking at them as they headed slowly towards the bed. I didn't have a wand. I ignored this blood chilling fact as I looked into what I had to do. Surprise has great benefits.

I watched as the tall one nodded to the bed where we hid. 

Seconds ticked. 

James was sliding under the bed to his shiny cloak. His source of surprise… mine was yet to be found. The distraction... I was the distraction. I gulped in anticipation and fear. _Have faith, Lily… They live forever… But Lily, first they have to go there._

My heart raced, I knew what I had to do.

Their robes skimmed the floor evilly. The short one leaned…

****

"Hello!" I smiled as he flinched back in surprise. I lay on my back, staring up at him. And then I thrust my body forward I kicking as hard as I could at his manhood. Caught in the act of surprise he screamed as the other one scrambled over. He grabbed his privates as my foot sailed behind my head, rolling me onto my feet. Scrambling the other two turned their wands on me. 

"_Avada Kedavra!" _sentenced the two as I jumped up on the bed, past their bright green, terribly infamous curses. Grabbing on to pole I swung myself at the injured Death eater, kicking him to the ground, barley missing a curse as the room erupted into flames. "ACCIO WAND!" I shouted imagining my wand with all my might… _The only thing that could save me from this mess._ Luckily at that moment James let his presence known. 

"STUPEFY!!!!" He shouted, jumping out from under the bed taking out the tall, Dark Arts corpse of a man who was obsessed with killing curses. All of a sudden, a blast from the blue, I was flabbergasted to see a bombshell of explosions go off… the Death Eaters seemed to be laughing. A horrible sound was penetrating the whole building. In confusion I quickly looked to see their cause for pleasure. I was rendered speechless as I saw the image before me, causing me to forget about the lone Death Eater before me. Twenty or more of black capped demons were pressing to enter the room, swallowing the space with their dark laughing faces. In one glance I exchanged with Potter we realized together it was a lost cause. Their pressing looming sea of darkness was alarming; the room seemed to _shake_ as doom filled the once peaceful atmosphere. _Then there was hope_. My wand, what I shrunk when not in use floated towards me. The most dazzling and uplifting sight I ever saw. 

"LILY!" I flipped back in front of me to see him hurling a pink curse in my direction. **"WATCH OUT!"** Potter shouted covering me by throwing a curse at my attacker as I ducked missing another green one by less then an inch. _These men are barbaric! Seriously! Didn't anyone teach them not to attack if your victim had their back turned! Mr. Loony would die of a heart attack if he ever saw such horrible manners!_ I faced the recovering hurt Death Eater as he glared at me. Thank Merlin for Kick boxing lessons! I swirled my leg around effortlessly in the air striking him in the waist as he made a move for left my foot. I almost laughed at his clumsy movements, _I guess Voldermont never taught his men hands on fighting. _Slamming my right foot down, I turned to my left one as I condemned him to a surging pain like he never felt before. I blasted my left foot above his hip and down to bruise his right kidney. And then hope was to be had as my wand sailed into my hand, invisible till now to the Death Eaters, they finally decided to join the show, all bringing out their wands. But years of nightmares and waiting for possibilities for revenge, I shook the room with a blast of purple light creating a protective circle around my only allie and myself. Not quickly enough I realized, the Death Eater I was fighting took my few seconds of distraction to hurl a hex at me that hit my back full center. My spine curled and twisted in pain as I screamed out and the crowd of Death Eaters cheered, enjoying the show. _This couldn't go on forever. _I winced as the surging pain blurred my eyes with tears I was unwilling to shed while grinding my teeth in agony.

__

"Give up, red head." The Death Eater smiled with newfound energy. _Great. Another power obsessive Death Eater, wasn't there enough already?! _I thought, as hacking cough jumped out of my body, nearly toppling me over. I grabbed the cold floor for support as my spine curled further. 

__

"Espina dorsal!" I choked kneeling over with pain further, my vision swirling. The healing spell luckily worked, attacking the throbbing scorching pain and throwing it all away. I forced my self to my feet shakily. _I was not going to die._

__

"NEVER!" I screamed attacking again. _No more Misses nice girl, dude you REALLY piss me off!_ I thought, my breath catching as I started to cough. Looking down I saw the ground covered in my own blood. "STUPEFY!" I shouted as he fell down. _"Cubierta!"_ I added thoughtfully as a red haze encircled his fallen body. Learning from my mistakes I knew the other Death Eaters wouldn't be able to touch him, it was only reversible if the one who sentenced it…if I would have the desire to remove it.

That's when it happened. That's when the explosion took place and my breath caught in my throat. That's when my protective purple haze disappeared. I turned to face the Death Eaters no less then completely stunned. Only _I_ could undo the spell, for it was of my creation. _"LILY!"_ Potter ran to my side protectively as the robed men closed in. "Protección!" I screamed as only a thin whisp of purple issued from my wand, I swallowed as fear finally settled into my skeleton.

__

"Say your prayers." A cold voice laughed.

*~*~*~*Author's note:

Okay I know that sucked, but I never wrote action/physical fighting scenes before. If anyone has any ideas for future writings or events that could take place or you would WANT to happen, feel free to email me. I'll happily give you credit for the ideas. I have no idea of a plot for this thing and might change the ending on a whim. Even more so, cause to tell you the truth, I'm not sure how I'm going to conclude anything right now. 

Thanks to my reviewers, you guys are one of the main reasons I write. Also to Everblue3, thanks for telling me about the normal thing, that helped a lot. Also like you, I'm not a fan of over the night, "_oh my gowd! I'm soooooooo in love!!!!!!"_ stories that are based on first sight ever lasting love crap. That's too Cinderella for me, I mean, she even had more problems! So I'll try to make the story 'real'. Feel free at any time to yell at me if I lose my mind and start to write only _tooth cracking sugar sweet fluff_. Or start rambling like I have a tendency to do…

10 reviews guys!

Also feel free to check out my sad site, called Kris's Place. It's about the war, slowly building into the image in my mind. And PLEASE e-mail me your opinion on the war, just as long there isn't ANYTHING in it ANTI- TROOPS!!! If ANTI- WAR then that's fine, just don't bash soldiers that are risking their lives for us. If you hate Bush, that's fine too. In other words write me!

Vist it at: 

Also going back to Everblue3, I love your story and thanks for the tip.

Hey PEOPLE!!! I also have to say check out Everblue3's story, Outrunning Our Shadows, It's the best online FanFiction I've read in a looonng time. Trust me people when I tell you to check it out. It's worth your time!

Also vist The inner workings of Lily Evans' twisted mind, I contributed an idea to that story, and I think she used it quite lovely!

**__**

P.S sorry for taking soooooo long to update, but the tornado of homework and regular everyday things has kept me VERY busy!


	10. Urge fighting, 10

Chapter10 urge fighting… 

__

"Say your prayers…" his voice as haunting as the scariest of scary movies. I felt like dropping down on my knees at that moment and screaming on the top of my lungs, 'oh take me now and be over with it.' I shook my head in frustration, I would not be a coward, my father taught me that much… _I would not let him down._

*~*~*~*~*

__

"Lily," my father's warm face loomed above me one warm summer day, the window was open and the fresh breeze played with my young hair softly. 

"Yes daddy?" I looked questioningly up at him, unknowing my wide childlike green eyes haunted his dreams, a constant memory of my mother and how slow her death. He gently brushed my hair out of my face, his tears confused me. How could a man of power, strength, and goodness be so sad? "Daddy? What's wrong?" I asked, confused at my father display of gloom, it was such a perfect day. I could hear the birds happily chirping, lawn mowers lazily running, and glee splashes from the pool next door… not a day for tears.

"Don't worry precious, I'm just going to your Uncle's house for awhile… so how would you like to go to Abigail's house while I'm gone? They're going to go to the new swimming park, watch a few new movies and later on play a game of football…" he smiled as his wet eyes fought the overflow. I never saw my dad cry, only once when mommy died… even then he didn't know I was awake… he was too proud for that.

"Okay… but why can't I go with you, daddy?" I asked thoroughly confused. I ALWAYS went to Uncle's with him, never before had I been left behind.

"No. No, not this time, hunny. I need to talk about important, boring matters with him. You go have fun, I'll see you later." He smiled comfortingly, even then the gloom seemed to be dripping through the room, waiting for something. Something to capture and swallow.

"Okay daddy. I love you"

*~*~*~*~*

"Well _Vincent_," I said surprising my self and James, who looked at me warningly. "I don't think I'll be the one saying the prayers. After everything you've done, it looks like the opposite... doesn't it?" I was playing with fire… soaked in gasoline. 

If the Death Eaters were surprised by my words they didn't say anything. Only the corpse called Vincent reacted. _"After what I'm going to do to you, it won't even compare."_ He said quietly, sending chills over the flaming room. The bed collapsed in ashes, the burning red flames jumped to new heights, their heat scorching the side of my face. 

"If you're trying to frighten me, it isn't working." I said surely, hiding my weak knees in the folds of my red wizarding clothes, worn for the anniversary of my father's death. My grip on my wand tightened, so did the space between James and me as his arm brushed protectively next to mine. His warm scent was calming, a breeze on a summer day, but my throat was dry and scratchy. 

"You know what men?" Vincent said coldly, his comrades pressed in even more around him, seemingly bored with the change of events. "I think we'll leave this little whore here with her _boyfriend_." He laughed loudly, shaking the flaming ceiling. Then turning to me, I could feel his piercing cold stare, imagining his cold grin slicing through the ice under his black mask. _"Would you like to die like your father… child?" _

My eyes narrowed, my jaw clenched, I held the tears of anger that raged through my entire body. _"My father died nobly."_ I said, trying to convince my self that he was actually dead, the many questions of his disappearance that nagged my mind every night now came alive in the burning room. 

"What? Fighting till the end?" The others laughed, scorching my fathers memory, I controlled my self, resisting the urge to break out one of their _own_ killing spells on them. _"What else did you lie to yourself about… princess?" _I broke. I couldn't help it… like I had no control, I swung at him catching him in surprise. My anger was ferrous, so was my left hook… he fell to the floor in amazement. Spiting on his face I shook with fury as James saw an opening grabbed my arm hastily, I shook him off.

"DON'T YOU EVER TALK ABOUT MY FATHER THAT WAY AGAIN OR…" I shouted as James gave a glass shattering yank on my arm. 

__

"Shut up, Lily. We need to get out of HERE!" He said importantly, his brown eyes swimming with concern as the Death Eaters poured in, their anger rising, growing like a tree. I swear to this day, I don't know how it happened. It was so perfect, such a movie moment, I never realized the depth of the actions we took next. Everything quickly turned to a blur, as if time was in slow motion, James movements and mine were concurrent- we were each other's mirror image, a miracle. Together we raised our wands, together we concentrated, together we shouted.

**__**

"CONGELE EN EL MOVIMIENTO!"

Our attackers bodies froze, as if caught in surprise, encircled in a shining bright blue circle of ice. I turned slowly to face Potter who wore the same shocked expression as myself." Weird." I commented, "You were like my mirror image."

"I'd say creepy. Let's go before they melt, they're already starting to defrost." James said, trying to shake his hair out of his eyes… a lost cause. One glance was enough to see he meant the truth.

**__**

"CONGELE EN EL MOVIMIENTO!" Our voices rang together once again, then we quickly turned to run out of the room, James in the lead. 

"Hey Lily…" James grinned slightly turning around from his jog, "I have mirrors above my bed if you want to see your mirror image… **OUCH**!" 

"Oh did that hurt?" I batted my eyelashes innocently, keeping up my pace.

"You could have warned me I was going to run into a statue!"

"Jog, James. Running is a faster pace, therefore I believe they call this jog."

"Yeah whatever, still, you don't have to be…" 

"James, answer me this, why would I tell you if I purposely moved the statue to have that affect?" I raised my eyebrows.

"Oh fiesty my sweet? We can always take that behind closed doors… **OUCH**!" He rubbed his head where the vase hit. _Haha! That would leave a bump, you disgusting little…_** "LILY!"**

"What!? Don't look at me! It's not my fault if items have a strong desire to beat you up."

****

"GET HER YOU IDOITS!!!" I could feel Vincent's roar behind me as my jog turned into a sprint, still slow compared to James's lighting bolt strides. Our feet pounded the stone floor, and our breath ruffled our throats; running for our lives as our attackers shot spells from behind… oh the turns we took in the dark castle. Up stairs, down stairs to a mirror, familiar yet lost in memory. 

"James," I panted as he hurriedly fumbled for the key, "We _can't_ bring them back to Hogwarts." 

"What are you talking about?" He asked, finding the right key before plunging it in to the hole. 

"All those little kids…" I said, he slowly looked up at me stunned, black hair falling into his chocolate brown eyes, I held back the urge to brush it away… and slapped myself mentally. _He was the one who got you into this mess…_

Slowly he realized what a disaster this whirlwind problem was turning into, and shook his head as if he was talking to himself. Then shaking his head yes in agreement, he flung the mirror open, the enemy footsteps close behind. "Go… and tell_ Dumbledore."_ He said pushing me through the mirror to a dirt floor, like a rag doll. I shook with rage, he was not sacrificing himself for my mistake. I stood up strongly, my pride hurt.

"No." I said strongly, pushing myself past him quickly. The Death Eaters footsteps grew louder and more taunting. I could hear their minds screaming… _I'm going to getcha', I'm going to getcha' good!_

"Lily…" He warned moving to pick me up, as if he could throw me in to a pit of dark safety. Not in this lifetime. Everyone was always trying to protect me and I was sick of it. I could see faces, memories of the past… _You're just a silly girl. Girls can't play Quidittich. Girls should depend on others, why else, Lily, do men exist? To protect innocent, sweet, silly girls, such as yourself._

"NO!"

"LILY GET GOING!" James demanded. _And men are supposed to be the 'glorious' savors? We're all doomed! ***Smirk***_

NO! I'M COMING WITH YOU AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!" I declared, standing my ground, and crossing my arms, my chin poked out defiantly.

"Really?" his grin turned lopsided. "Let's find a bed…" * **WHACK ***

"I said O not U, you sicko." I flipped my hair, startled, I saw a green burst of light whiz past my ear. 

"Oh shit, those old men are catching up, c'mon!" Potter need not of said, as more lights started to zoom around the corner. I slammed the mirror passage shut- not before issuing a white sparkling stream of light from my wand down the dark tunnel.

"What do we do?" I asked turning to James as we were cornered.

"The only thing we can do." His smile grim, "Fight to the death."

(cheese for What The Hell)

*~*~*~*~*~*Authors Note: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!

With all my commitments and crap (Found out BOTH of my grandmas have cancer… grrr) I couldn't get around to updating(My aunt came down from Minnesota and took over ts to cry at the beauty of it*

*Don't worry my readers, the first time I really did this whole review thing, and it WILL probably be the last… of course if you have any questions I'll get back to you!

*Daisysilk


	11. Clearer lines, 11

11 

"That's very heroic of you James." I joked watching with amusement as he stood taller. 

"Thanks. _I_ was always one for…"

"James," I cut in, "I was being _sarcastic_." I said raising an eyebrow.

His face fought a look of surprise as his bruised ego ran for cover, "Ummm… right… err…" He looked around like a lost puppy. I would have laughed if it weren't for the poisonous, dangerous sparks shooting more viciously around the corner. 

"Ahh… James?" I asked slicing through his embarrassment.

"Yeah?" He questioned looking up curiously.

"How are we going to… ahhhh… defeat twenty or so _Death Eaters_?" I questioned for the first time. _We really did **not** stand a chance. How could **two **students live, let alone defeat, twenty mad men… known for their disregard of human life? _For the millionth time that day I begun to fear for my life.

__

" I'm only pretty sure

that I can't take it anymore,

Before you take a swing, I wonder,

What are we fighting for,

When I say out loud, I want to get out of this,

I wonder,

Is there anything I'm going to miss,

How's it going to be"

- THIRD EYE BLIND

Potter smiled, and something became clear as if a storming cloud was being split open by the rays of unexpected light. "Well Lily, we take them out one at a time." He grinned. Then in reply to my confusion he cracked his knuckles, a wide grin spreading over his face. "Prankage time." 

I groaned, "James turning their hair green isn't going to help matters, let alone take them out."

"Damn girl, by now I would of thought you weren't as narrow minded as you were first year."_ Yeah I wonder why, asshole._

"Whatever, let's just get going." I intelligently responded as a spell burned a hole through my robes. "FUCK!" _I just bought these!!! _

"You CUSSED!!" James stood amazed.

"Yeah, now move the fuck along before I kick your fucking ass." I jabbed him out of his trance by poking him with my wand.

"You're hot when you cuss," he stood amazed, "Would you like some ass?" he grinned at me.

"UNBELIEVIBLE!!!" I threw my hands up in defeat.

"What?" James asked cluelessly as his hair fell back into its normal disarray.

"We have over a _dozen_ BLOOD THIRSTY MANAICS ON OUR TAILS AND ALL YOU CAN THINK ABOUT IS GETTING LAID!!!!"

"What's wrong with that?" James asked confused 

"AHHHH!!!!!" I gave in, taking off with a sprint, leaving him in my dust. A few seconds later when he appeared at my side I cooled some steam, regained my thoughts, and calmly asked, "Now what do we do?" James head turned down at me with a smirk plastered over his face. "No, **_not_** that. To get rid of the Death Eaters… you know the things that are trying to kill us right now?"

His grin folded into a confident brother smile, "Really? Trying to kill us? And this whole time I thought they were trying to steal my jacket!" he exclaimed as I rolled my eyes, _he is such a little kid. _I quickly regained my poise for the benefit for the both of us.

"James!" I exclaimed as our feet pounded up a staircase, turning and twisting around corners. "Seriously now."

I looked up at him, his face brightened, _hmm… maybe there is someone in his pea sized brain_, I thought examining his strong jawbone leading up to his face, screaming of man, but his over confident gestures: raw with boy hood. He was a pathetic excuse for a man, yet at first glance anyone would swear he reeked of it. "_Seriously_!" he valley girled, taunting my concern. I nearly punched him out! _What a JACKASS!!! How dare he make fun of** me** in such a time of peril! _

"JAMES!" I whispered venomously, "Don't you even **_DARE_** start your bullshit, _I personally,_ want to stay _alive _here, and right now I do NOT give a fuck if you DO _die!_" I faced him, thunder in my eyes, fury surging through my body. _He was the one who dropped me into this disaster. HE was the one who always created turmoil. He was the only one in the world who would bully their **only** allie just to assure himself he **was** important, the most deserving of life. He was one of the ones who ruined lives, and stole hopes and dreams… smashing them under his dragon hide, steal toed, combat boots. I was just… another fly, stuck on the bottom of his spit shined grinding boot. He made me SICK!!!_

"Well then, _Miss Perfect_," he said sourly, "Might I suggest we _split up_?" 

I examined his raw anger seeping out over his face for the first time. I knew then I had to control my anger, I took a deep breath. 

*** JAMES… (or more well known as the "Jackass")

I had her. She knew I did. She needed me, and we both knew it. It killed her- even a blind man could tell, she blindly bite her lip, trying to control the thunderstorm behind her eyes that could sink ships and kill strong men that tended to the mighty masts. I worked my jaw, imagining I plowed into a lemon, making her look like the underdog, the coward who needed help. Sure I was a jackass, but I was sure as hell good at it. _I could here my mothers voice now, "James if you ever challenge, you sure as hell better not back down." _I almost smiled, it was kinda funny how my father taught me my manners and my mother, strength. Lily released her grueling jaw lock, and her teeth slipped of her blood red lip, what looked as if ready to burst from the plug up. She tossed hair carelessly, red tendrils bouncing down her back, I swallowed as my eyes opened. Luckily her face was turned to not see my reaction to curly hair, it was kinda embarrassing, really. Sirius stabbed me for years after finding out my response to 'the dead thing on top of a scalp' and the wounds did not need to reappear. 

"James," she turned to me, her eyes cooled, the storm clouds still visible, "Why would we do that? Then we would surely both die! Nope. We'd better stick together… just as long as you slow down the sexual advances and taunting."

I looked at her stunned, _I was wasn't taunting her! Wait, she was talking about my sexy body again, HA! Like I could stop the racy visions going through her head! It was really amazing how much will power she had… she need to be dominated… by a hero type figure! So THAT'S why the sensitive guy thing didn't work! Well, if this damsel wanted a hero, that was my specialty!_

I flashed her a killer cool smile, one that really got the ass to swoon, and then raised an eye brow like the sex god of Hogwarts should. I could feel the air thicken, the damn birds and bees watching for a lessen on the wooing stage.

"Whatever you say." I whispered deeply, stepping closer to her, my cologne doing the dirty work. Her eyelashes fluttered heavenly, she breathed in deeply, closing her eyes. "We better go." I said a second later timing my approach. She shook her head, bouncing those damn curls again. I smiled, it was amazing how scent could calm a tiger after it's first sight of fire… or bring it to life.

"So," she tried for the third time, "What are we going to do?"

This time was essential for an answer, "We'll pick one guy off at a time, from the back preferably." I offered my brilliant plan, cutting down the numbers one at a time was a key point in the game of survival. I saw her cringe at my side before I pulled her into a room at my right.

"OMPH! James where are we?" I saw her glance out of a corner of my eye as I fiddled with the hidden passage way's door…err spot on the wall. She raised her eyebrows as if to shout what the hell! But decided to remain quiet. 

"No fear Lily, I know this castle as well as I do as Hogwarts, all of its secrets." I grinned

"Wait. We're not in Hogwarts?" 

I laughed "Aren't you a book worm?" I kidded, eyes twinkling.

"What does that have to do with anything!" She declared defiantly.

"I thought you would know something about secret passage ways."

"Of course I do!" _hmm… really now._

"Sure. Anyways, I took you on a transporter one." I examined her blank face, trying to not laugh at the brain of Gryffindor "You get on a magical rug, fly to the end of a tunnel…" I hinted, looking at her sexy pout, soft red lips…_DAMN! Lily is loaded… why in the hell didn't I notice before?! Oh yeah, I was too busy earning my sex God reputation, and that's hard work_. I smirked silently before suggesting, "After you." I gestured to a tiny hole in the wall that became visible, the tunnel was musty and deep-rooted, but I knew from my father how frequently his co-workers and he used it to move around rapidly in the old secret Auror headquarters. I looked at Lily as she hesitated for second, looking at the cob web in the shadowy passageway. "You're not afraid… are you?" I taunted watching her debate silently.

"Of course not!" She brushed past me boldly, and daringly jumped the 10 feet drop courageously, plopping into the thick pool of green goo. I snickered, _opps… I forgot to tell you about that one Miss Hollywood. _"Eww… how disgusting!" She whined repulsively, shaking the old green goo off her robes determinedly, _a lost cause princess that shit sticks like a fucking bitch_. I grinned, _hmmm… I never knew it would make her robes cling to her flawless body so tightly… _I thought happily jumping effortlessly to the bottom… _this might be a good thing after all…_

I landed next to her, planting my feet so I wouldn't nose dive like she did, keeping relatively clean, _but for what fucking reason would I ever purposely cover such a superstar face like mine in all the grime? It would be a fucking crime. "_So_ Lily," _I straightened up, slowly, knowing she was watching my every move, her mind running of vivid, hot, passionate sex…

"James… hello James… come back to the goo…" she waved he hand in front of my handsome face that her and a billion other girls dreamed about every night, praying to Merlin that they'd get a chance to met me, talk to me… and fuck me. "YO!!! TROLL WITH HOT AIR FOR A BRAIN!!!"

"What? Ready to go prank some graduated Slytherin ass?" I asked as she started to laugh, which was beyond me, "WHAT?" 

"Nothing." She giggled, _damn I hate it when ass did that, making me fell weird or stupid, you know somethin' like that._

***Lilly

__

What an idiot! You can call him a dumbass troll, and he answers to it as if it was his first name! I examined the dark, dirty, stone walls, grime covered, yet still full of life, in their youth viewing many adventures,_ oh the stories that lay underneath!_ For the first time I wished walls could talk, _I'd listen forever_. We walked quickly, turning off here and there to steal the awareness at the rear of the Death Eaters line, James creating a bait for the cloaked corpse to be pulled into, like a fly to the light, caught in a trap I'd charm him into a deep sleeping spell, putting a protective shield over him that I could only undue. The plan amazingly worked well, to both of our surprise, even though James wouldn't admit it.

"Only three left." He smirked checking himself out again in yet another mirror, and here I was covered in grime and goo, hair every which way, and the only dirt on him was around his knees and legs, thanks to his selective memory.

"Good, then we can get out of here." I said looking around tiredly, some of the Death Eaters put up a fight. 

"Yeah… so Miss Evans what are you doing tonight?" He asked, finally tearing his eyes from the mirrors to look at my pathetic state. _You have to be kidding me. _Here I am, looking like shit ran over, and he's still trying to get laid. 

"James do you have an obsession with sex?" I asked annoyed. _I wanna go home, take a long bath, and go to bed! _I whined silently. 

"Actually…" he grinned.

"Don't answer that."

"But…"

"But shut up."

"Butt. You have a nice butt Lily Evans." He grinned moving to touch mine. _Oui!_

"James!" I slapped his hand away, "Cut it out." _You're an inch from death, asshole!_

"Butt…"

I shoved him, making him travel a few steps to the side, _take that you Quittditch star, _I smiled _"Not even Bludgers harm me." Yeah well Mr. Tough met Miss spitfire. _

****

"Well, well, what do we have here?" Dark shadows loomed above us, I staggered back in surprise as five large Death Eaters appeared in front of us their grins wicked, chills ran down my back as fear stole my voice terror.

**__**

"Expelliarmus!" one cried, our wands shooting out of our hands we tried to grasp after them desperately … a lost cause, we were now defenseless, and vulnerable like never before. _Just sticks of wood, but still so much more. _

"Err… hello." James stupidly stuttered.

**__**

"FRESSCO!" Vincent shouted as our muscles tightened and we fell to the floor, in one defeated heap. _This is it…_

Vincent drew nearer, his robes swaying out behind him as the others laughed in good entertainment, like little kids at a birthday party. He reached us looking down, then slowly raised his hands as if to uncover his masked face. Tauntingly his finger slithered up its edge… and slowly pulled as I watched in horror, waiting for Snape father's face to come in view. Instead I saw a very different face, a face I would have never expected to see, James gasped in horror as I stared in shock.

"Brian?"

*~*~*~*~*Author's note:

I'm sorry I took forever, but I've had NO time this week, and I seriously mean that. Also I KNOW this chapter sucks, I had no time to edit since relatives are coming from all over right now to stay at our house. I'll try to get around to it soon, but I really wanted to post it cause I won't be able to post anything else for about a month. I'm sorry but posting this thing took forever because I had to get some points across some of my smart reviewers were already debating about. So thanks for reading, please **review **because I'll only post the next one if I have ten reviews… yes I know I'm evil. Also thanks for support with my grams. 

Thanx for reviewing!

Tata!


	12. The Black Hole, 12

WARNING: This chapter and future ones may have hints that suggest or lead up to (in later chapters) spoilers for the Fifth Harry Potter Book, The Order of the Phoenix. So now you have been warned-

and if you allow your mind to the ponder hints it's your own dang fault…cheers!

**Chapter 12**

**The Black Hole**

I stared in shock as the unbelievable came true. James's face was horror-stricken and mine, I could only imagine he was as bowled over as I was. I couldn't even compare to what he was going through…. his own _brother_ wanted him **_dead_**. It was sickening… once his companion and own blood: now our enemy. _We were so going to die_. I could fell the fear seeping through my veins once again as Brian stepped closer, his eyes a never ending pit of darkness streaming with the darkest of thoughts. My heart trembled in fear or disbelief as I held back a scream of outrage. The only thing I could do however was blink and breathe- the spell had bound me tightly and there was no way to break through, I was like a wooden plank in an old bending floor- unable to move, unable to breathe, unable to accept. In a trance of dead shock… Brian? _How could this happened? _I was floating in my own ship and only brought back to land by a startling tidal wave of words.

"Hello…. **_Brother_**." Brian snarled as my heart shook from the new sharp edge surfacing in his words. _Oh Brian, whatever happened to you? You saved your brothers life… you understood me. The way I thought, the way I acted, the way I accepted…Oh Brian! This can't be happening… I would have noticed the difference… Breanna would of surely if not me! How…_

"**Brian** how _could _you?" James stuttered in disbelief as if he was slapped in the face by an anvil and was trying to fight back the tears…and emotions. His chest rose slowly out of the corner of my eye falling in rhythm with time… and all I could do was stare at the ceiling in my odd position, desperately trying to move something other then my eyes._ Brian…how could you do this to me? You were one of my best buds! You **understood** me ten times better than even your girlfriend…how… Brian… how?_

**"Quite easily, _Brother. _But then again… we are not here for any witch babble, _or… are we?"_** Brian grinned as my head screamed with turmoil. _Oh my god…we're going to die!_ I thought as a few Death Eaters drifted nearer to my defenseless position spread out on the floor._ I think I can't do this… I have way too much crap going on to lose my life to one of my best friends! Oh please if there is a God… let us survive this… Please. I promise I'll try harder. I'll try harder at hiding everything, try harder to be a good friend- let alone know my friends…I'll try harder at anything! PLEASE!_

James however continued, ignoring his brothers warning, "Are you screwed up or **what?** Drunk? **You MORON**, why in the HELL would you ever even **THINK **of…" _Oh… James… playing with fire… is it a hobby, 'cause you're starting to freak me out **officially**. Our LIVES depend on the next few seconds…pigheaded troll._

**"Because The Dark Lord has powers you can only dream of; he is my true brother… and my _only_ brother."** Brian sneered as his glare sliced James, and the tension in the room exploded in to thousands of shards of glass tearing up everything knew.

_"Brother against brother, A valley of few, _

_Is the whole fucking world on glue?"_

_-Angelia Star _

"Your **_lord _**isn't fit to be called _lord_, all he is…. is …a cold blooded, insane villain that…" _James! SHUT UP!_ My mind screamed as the room grew thick with an icy draft.

**"Enough gossiping already, I have plans for you and…oh _Lily_… I almost forgot about _you_."** He turned his menacing glare from James to look me over suggestively; I could feel my insides flop with the look in his eyes. Never before did he have that look. **"Then again… how _could I _with a _father_ like yours? It should be a crime…"** He droned as the heat rose to my cheeks. _How did he know my father… what did he know… he couldn't possibly… or could he?_

James took over, and for once I was happy for it. "I see you made it to the old head quarters … funny how you use the place for completely different reasons then what it was built for." He absently mindedly commented.

**"WOW, _great point_…but that's not what I find… _amusing_. You are laying on your back in front of my _feet _acting as if you still believe _you _are better then _me_."** Brian more or less rolled his eyes before dropping his icy hands to his sides. He threatened, with a suggestive glance in my direction before turning his head to glance at his comrades, "**Boys…"** he hissed to his comrades, **"The _Moody_ way…"**

"But _Sir…_ Why don't we just fin- "

Brian cleared his throat loudly, obviously pestered with his scum, which shut them up in mid sentence… not that you could blame them. He gave the impression of a towering lord and that was even before the whole evil crusade. **"I have plans for them…"** he said quietly**, " or would you like to be the one to upset our Dark Lord?" **he smiled wickedly slow, almost making me feel sorry for the disgusting muck he spoke to… but then again, not really. The corpse he addressed shook his head slowly as if he was just caught stealing gold from a goblin. Somewhat satisfied Brian turned back to us before slowly glancing over me**. "I have plans for _both_ of them."** He grinned slowly as I felt the anger boiling up. _Oh no you don't! If you even lay a finger on me I swear- umm…I'll…I'll… what could I do?_

"But _Sir_, why the _Mudblood_?" another questioned bravely, like they couldn't believe their ears that after their chase they couldn't even torture - in their minds- an ounce of grime._ Wait a second… did he just call me what I think he did? A MUDBLOOD! HE JUST CALLED ME A MUDBLOOD! You disgusting troll of a- _

**"DO YOU DOUBT ME?"** he roared, making the hooded monsters behind him jump _ever so_ slightly. I would have laughed if I was not about to face my end by these grimy criminals.

"Of course not." Squeaked their speaker, "We just wanted to understand why you consider this _mudblood_ different from the rest…" he trailed slowly, he reminded me of an old blind man on top of a cliff, feeling around with his foot cautiously to try to find more earth. Yet I had no sympathy for him, at this point I could happily ripped his life from his body…_if you call me a mudblood one more time…_

**"She's no ordinary mudblood."** _Why thank you, you disgusting self-centered pig! _**"She's even dirtier then the rest."** My head was on fire as I flamed up_… **if only**…I would so like to hurt you right now_! _Unlike you scum bags, my parents were honest and decent muggles, far better then what your parents could ever hope to be, assholes._ From somewhere in the room there was a whisper and then a cool autumn breeze as my body relaxed and exhaustion set in. **"Take her."** Brian's evil grin dominated the room as my eyelids were forced down… for the hundredth time that day. I struggled but it was no use. Their magic had already ensnarled my senses and bewitched my body…. I no longer had control… thanks to a simple- yet effective sleeping spell.

My eyes grazed in a room of gray, finally finding conscientious, I found myself surrounded by people draped in black- packed into a single room by the dozens, buzzing with a frightening excitement. I felt an odd warm and tingling sensation in the pit of my stomach… as if I was a drunken four-year-old who just rode on a muggle roller coaster for the first time. My ears buzzed as my eyes came into focus. My head throbbed as a deep blood curling laugh filled the room- covering every inch with doom. I slowly sat up as everyone fell to his or her knees. A soft swishing sound was coming from behind my position, even my hair stood on end. Taking a deep breath I turned to look but mortified I quickly found that the small movement could not be granted with the thick chains that bound me tightly inside a cauldron. **_INSIDE A CUALDRON! _**I fought the urge to scream at the realization of my purpose arose… _but how could it be? How could I be a… potion ingredient? Brian was talking as if he was going to take advantage of me or something._

**_"Well… well… my men did not fail me this time." _**The thing behind me spoke, causing the air in my lungs to freeze as if hit with a stunning charm. As if this was a cue for the cloaked corpses to show their loyalty, a short Death Eater took it to heart (if he had one, that is), scurrying forward to throw himself at the speaker's feet and proceeded to do something which sounded faintly like snogging something.

"My Master..." the corpse gushed excitedly, "We all wish you the best in your search for immortality and- "

**"Of course… but must you snog the dog shit off my shoes?" **The thing behind me sneered causing muffled cackling from the now standing audience of carcasses.

"Sir- "

"I wasn't asking, you're wasting my time, Black."

"My Master! I mean no harm- "

**"Are you still talking?" **he drawled more then asked, the snickering grew more pronounced as the devoted Death Eater finally fell silent. **_"Now…"_** His voice dropped as he moved forward, I could now see him clearly. His snarling face and slits of eyes stirred my memory in an unexpected way, startling my senses and rattling my bones. I _knew_ him. From where however I could not figure, though as my mind pondered, the room fell silent and somewhat darker. **"Let's take the first step to our future… _Light the fire."_**

**UPDATED!**

Authors Note:

Well, well, I hope that wasn't too short for your tastes. I brushed up on my condensing skills in this chapter and decided not to release anymore of this odd tale in this chapter, and believe me when I say I have my reasons. The number one being that I am about to fall asleep at this very spot and time and had to end to chapter to keep my sanity. Why don't I just add more to it tomorrow and post it then, you ask. Why? Because I promised myself I would finish tonight (a.k.a morning), and not waste another day to let my story slip from your memory forever. Also because the following days my schedule is so packed I can only hope to have a pathetic start to the next chapter. But for which reason, listed or not, here you are…. The chapter that took me over a century to post, and please accept my apologies for procrastinating, but sometimes I can be a lazy bum.

Also I would like to thank all of the amazing reviewers who take the time to tell me if my story should drop off the face of earth or not. To the people who make me get off my lazy bum guilty and type words into my computer in the middle of the night… actually three thirty in the morning… but nevertheless, thanks.

And therefore I'm doing the **ten reviews** to cover my obsession for sleep. So thank you, good night, and now I'm off to fall asleep……..


	13. The Distemper, 13

**The Distemper of Chapter 13**

I raised my head slowly out of the giant pot as green liquid started to bubble around me, turning darker by the moment. _What the in hell…_ the brew was wretched and stung my knees and elbows that propped me up.

**"MASTER!**_" _The commotion buzzed around me as I fought against the chains to sit up. "**The girl..."** suddenly the room went silent, as I tried to figure out what just happened and why in the world I was an ingredient for the foul smelling potion, which was lapping my body hungrily.

The tail thin man turned slowly, as everyone surrounding seemed to hold their breath. His aristocratic stature was imposing, but not as great as the snarling lips and snaked eyes that looked like the devil himself with his immortal eyes. "Well, I'm sure you are wondering why you're sleeping in my cauldron." He sneered which drew a few chuckles from the audience. I ignored them, nobly throwing my head in the air; after all it was not like my situation could get any worse.

"I demand to know where my friend, James Potter is, and why I was brutally kidnapped to be just placed in a pot," I said shaking my hair out of my face, "And of course I beseech you to untie me at once." I was aware of the snickers as I finished along with the tall man's amused expression. _He must be a leader of some type of cult…_

"You _demand _me to, do you now?" His snarl grew larger with the developing cacklings. "Well I am sorry princess, but I am fresh out of receiving orders… _do you know who I am?"_ He added raising his head arrogantly into the air like I saw James do many times before.

"No of course not," I sighed dramatically like I couldn't care less, "who are you then?" I looked up at him dully, my knees starting to hurt from the unusual pressure.

"I am Lord Voldermont, _The Dark Lord_, Ruler of …"

"Okay I get it Voldy, now will you actually get to the point of why I have the pleasure of meeting you while stuck in a foul smelling cauldron, because if you really wanted to met me, I'm sure we could of rearranged something else." It might have been the strong odors cultivating from the disgusting potion or the lack of sleep tacking over my brain, but either way I didn't care anymore. Nor did I worry, my conversation was defiantly offensive, and this man, surely dangerous… but I was soulless. There was nothing left for them or anyone else to take. Or to live for… all I felt the rising potion, and my life slipping slowly away… and I did not care. The Lord or whatever his name was grew slightly red, his head taking the first smack it had in a long time. Killing was second hand, but being insulted was not. Unaware I had gained an advantage… I had found his weakness I let my eyes wander to the wall behind him. The good came with the bad as he tightened his grip on his wand and I felt a quick dying twinge of fear before it evaporated all together.

"You are here because you are my immortality potion. You can never see your friend again because he is also of importance, along with his brother… and no I can or will not untie your _filthy **mudblood** _hands." He regained his composure quickly, and stood a bit taller. "Nor may you see the person of most importance to you—"

"That person is dead, he died a long time ago, you fucking bastard." I stared at him, anger rising from somewhere within_. HOW DARE HE! I could KILL this man, standing there like he is some important Mafia member, but he isn't. He doesn't know shit to be one or even to compare!_

"No he was **_Kidnapped_**." He snarled back.

I tried to stand in my chains a found they some how undid them selves, in my anger I was to blind to notice. "Stop MAKING UP so many FUCKING lies, YOU ONE-NUTED LYING COWARD!" I screamed.

**"I'm NOT! BLACK, GET HERE PATHETIC FATHER, I'LL PROVE IT TO YOU, YOU'LL BE THE FIRST TO SEE MY GENIOUS… MY PLAN--"**

"YOU COULDN'T FORMULATE A PLAN IF YOU TRIED! A MUGGLE IS A MILION TIMES SMARTER THEN—**AHHHHHHH**" I released a blood curling scream as the pain flooded into my veins. My head throbbed like it never had before, my body like a bomb exploded inside. Tears weren't an option; my body was being electrocuted with such force and terror that it couldn't process anything, not even vision. And as suddenly as it started it stopped, to reveal my father standing over my fallen corpse, blood in his hands.

Authors Note:

_Marian Caroline Cavell_

_Loving mother, grandmother, sister, aunt, and friend. Passed away on Monday, August, 4, 2003 at age 88 in her home in Sacramento, Ca._

_Living the majority of her life in Mi she married her husband, Edward V. Cavell, and they raised 4 children together who were the joy of her life. She cherished her 9 grandchildren and treasured all her family. _

_She will always be remembered as an intelligent, loving, kind, and gracious person to all she encountered. She possessed an unending quest for knowledge, a great love for reading, flowers, painting, and animals. She always had an ever-present love and support for her children and family. We will hold our love for you and our memories of you in our hearts forever._

_Remembrances may be made to the American Cancer Society. Services will be held on at St. Cyrils Church in Taylor, Mi._


	14. Dead Again, 14

WARNING: AUTHOR HIGHLY ENCOURAGES READER TO READ THE LAST CHAPTER AGAIN TO BRUSH UP

CHAPTER 14

DEAD AGAIN

"Dad?" I choked, barley believing my eyes. "How...I.." I nearly shook with tears, the man whom I had stayed faithful to my entire life was alive, when he was suppose to be dead. The man who watched over me... kept me well and had given me everything I could of hope for– was alive. I touched his arm softly, making sure he was really there and just not a mirage. Memories flowed through my veins awakening my senses. I knew it. I **_KNEW_** it. This entire time he was alive... and finally we could catch up on those missed years. No longer was alone. No longer would I cry silent tears, or be the sole secret keeper of the truth that plagued my family for generations. No longer was I alone... my father was alive.

_ I'm tired of being what you want me to be_

Feeling so faithless

Lost under the surface

I don't know what you're expecting of me

Put under the pressure

Of walking in your shoes  
  
"Lily, listen to me, you need to get out of here. Please. Why you still can." He said as the tears begun to run down his worn face. He looked so different, yet just like he use to. His electric red hair now seemed to have been covered in a thick layer of dust, and his skin– so pale and fragile I could almost see through it. Only one thing had not changed... the only thing what mattered, and kept me going no matter what. _The look in his eyes_. The warmth of love a father has for his child runs deep, and its significance startling. I looked at him oddly, why did he wish us to be torn apart again? I could see the urgency and pain seeping through out his eyes, yet still I could not comprehend.

_ I've become so numb_

I can't feel you there

Become so tired...

So much more aware  
  
"But Daddy why..." I asked, slightly drawing away, my eyes starting to brim with tears. That's when I realized the warmth around my knees, enveloping them in a cooling liquid. Only then did I glance at his hands to only see blood quickly trickling from his wounds. My eyes widened in horror, as the truth was revealed before my vary eyes "_No_." I choked, "**_NO!_** _I made you promise_." I said before breaking into hysterical cries, "_I made you promise_!"

_ Feeling so faithless_

Lost under the surface

I don't know what you're expecting of me

Put under the pressure

Of walking in your shoes  
  
"Promises… are only guidelines" A chilling voice said from in front of me. I savagely raised my head just to be greeted with the foulest sight I could of imagined at the moment. One of Voldermont's followers stood in front of me resting on one of the large doors with his fingers snaked around a bloody dagger and the other a dripping child's head. I felt my stomach turn by just the look of terror on the toddlers face. His sickening grin gnawed at my displeasure, "but you certainly know that... _don't you_." My body trembled at the thought of the toddlers last moments. How could you kill a defenseless child? My body shuddered and the room started to spin as I fought to control my nausea. Taking a deep breath I stood up in front of him as anger took control of my body. Stealing the dearest thing away from me, only to bring him back so I could see the life slip out of his eyes was enough to make me fight off entire pack of werewolves with my wandless hands, but this guy **pushed** it. He also murdered the symbol of salvation... a _sacred _being. This man was despicable, lower then Satan and all his creations: he was a bloodthirsty _monster_, who deserved more pain then I could ever bring upon him.

I couldn't even speak I was so horribly enraged, my acuity turned to ash as my anger took my wand by storm, sending a curse exploding into the room, shaking every beam, and crumbling rock. Dust and boulders tumbled down from the ceiling as screams of ghastly agony throbbed through the castle. I left him there to suffer, never stopping the pain that scorched his corpse. He was no man, but the creator of pain and suffrage. I gave him back what other families wished they could of. A thank you very much for the terror and misery he put countless others to.

_ I've_

Become so numb

I can't feel you there

Become so tired

So much more aware

And I knowI may end up failing too

But I know

You were just like me

_  
_  
Only when a beam nearly tore the room in two did I rush back to my dying fathers side. He was weaker then ever, and fading faster then before. His lips parted to gasp for breath and I could do nothing. Neither was there a spell nor medicine that would set him right, thanks the curse of our ancestors. At the time they thought it well to bestow one Evans family member of every generation with the gift of everlasting immortality. Only their desire to save another could kill them... it was the only thing that could. My dear father's green eyes, which reflected mine, were the only identification for the next Evan's immortal soul. The gift of immortality was supposed to be a gift, man would kill for it, but the truth held it as the worst curse alive. I lived with knowing I might never see my deceased relatives again… for some of my family members never had. My "Uncle" is really over a couple thousand years old. His attempts to save countless others always failed horribly; leaving him washed up and depressed beyond belief. He _wanted_ to die. The world would go on, some day end... but never the Evans. We existed as ghosts.

I stroked my father's hair, unaware of anything, as I was immersed in his blood, and stared devotedly into his eyes. The world could have exploded and I knew I would not have budged: there was nothing to keep me from him. His green eyes stared into my own tiredly. "_I love you, **father**_." I said as new tears found their way from the depth of my soul. "_I_ _love you_." He made an effort to smile, but was to weak, yet for a second his eyes radiated light as never seen before they glazed over with emptiness. 

_ Feeling so faithless_

Lost under the surface…

I don't know what you're expecting of me

Uphill struggle,

Blood, sweat and tears

Nothing to gain...

Everything to fear  
  
Only Dumbledore could pry my dripping frame from my father's body that night, or stop the agonizing screams of the Death Eater. Hogwarts was hollow, and news of my last moments with my father somehow found their way around school quicker then anything else. My footsteps seemed to echo in the silent stares my peers sent me. Like my father's eyes, mine too had glazed over and I really couldn't care less. I was free of emotion which lead everyone surrounding me awkward, and quiet, after all, what can you say to a girl who bathed in her father's drying blood?

Dumbledore quietly sat across from me in his office, setting down a folder in front off him softly. "Your Father was an honorable man. It was his choice... no one else's decision, Lily." he said trying to look into my eyes, yet I had already focused my gaze at the tapestry behind him, I was immune to what he said, immune to everything.

_ I've_

Become so numb

I can't feel you there

Become so tired

So much more aware  
  
"I wrote your sister Petunia, you'll be glad to hear the Dockendorf family has decided to adopt her as their own. I was told she has been friends with their daughter Emily for a while now." He said as I continued to stare at the tapestry, "They are nice muggles; however, I do not think they would understand if ... well, if anything curious happened. Therefore that leaves us two options. " At this I looked up at him curiously, I never even thought of past Hogwarts or vacations... I guess I just figured I would go home to our old house since nobody wanted me. Then why did I fool myself, my own Uncle did not want to even keep me, let alone anyone else. 

_ I've_

Become so numb

I can't feel you there

Become so tired

So much more aware

"Mr. and Mrs. Potter contacted me immediately to offer their home and support to you, as they have done to other students at Hogwarts. They are remarkable people, no matter how much you do or do not favor their son. They never fail to amaze me how they can help others heal through time and support. Then again, you can always rent out a flat in London and plague yourself with accusations all year long." He said somewhat jokingly, yet then shut down when my glare reached his eyes.

"I'll be fine, I can stay at my house" I said which seemed to pull at his memory by the way he shifted.

"Oh yes, that brings me to the will." Dumbledore said turning to the folder on his desk and opening it up. "It states here that the Evans Manor and its possessions, other then individual items, shall be sold upon the death of both head family members and the money collected to be split into two equal accounts for the heirs." He said as I looked up in horror.

"How... Why... Why can't Petunia and I decide?" I asked.

"Your parents wanted no fights over material items after their passing, or I assume... that is the case for such black and white wills."

"I do not know..." I said, starting to weigh in the possibilities of my solo future. This answer however did not suit Dumbledore.

"You can either continue to self destruct by your self or choose to heal. The decision is yours, and only you can make it. The Potters are offering you their home and support, yet only living by yourself will only show you the tortures and terrors of loss if you choose it."

"I really don't have a choice do I?" I asked looking questioningly at Dumbledore, his soft smile was enough to express his answer.

_ I've_

Become so numb...

Become so tired...

Nothing to gain,

Everything to fear.

Authors Note: **UPDATED!**

Wow. I can't believe I finally finished this, many things happened, from losing the story to a sick computer, to really having no desire to write, let alone time. However, I've made it here, which was a harder journey then most would imagine. First off I would like to say "Thank You" to everyone who wrote me a sympathetic note about my late Grandma, it's been really tough without her and I greatly appreciated it.

The lyrics are of Linkin Park, if you have not already of guessed, from their two great songs called Nobody's Listening and the more popular one, Numb. Thanks For reading, and I'll love you forever if you review! Dais


	15. Pity Me Not, 15

Pity Me Not

Chapter something

Life went on, even though I felt like I did not. Only my friend, Breanna, timidly pointed out that I think he was dead for a few years already, so I could finally mourn and move on. But she did not understand. Her boyfriend might have turned all evil and everything, but her only confident did not leave her forever... part of herself did not leave her forever. How could I put into words what I felt? I could see her eyes pressing me for an answer... an answer that I could not give. Neither did I know why her boyfriend went all dark side on us, nor why the death of my father dehumanized me so. He gave up his life for me... so I could live... and I still do not know why. I just could not believe someone would give up their life for _me_. Memories of that night in the castle seemed to blur together, creating some type of hurricane that ripped my heart out of my chest with its icy cruel winds. I felt like I was being tugged into different directions with the world howling in my hair screaming for me to be normal again, to move on and make my father **_proud_**. Yet, I could not.

Everyone seemed to want me to forget and go back to how things use to be. I was tired, dreadfully tired... of life, school and overall... people. The worst part is I could not even commit suicide if I wanted to. Not that I would, mind you, but it certainly crossed my mind. Anyone else had complete control over his or her life in every aspect; I unfortunately did not.

"Lily, Dumbledore told me you were going to come to my house for Christmas. You'll like it, my mother goes all out." James said, grinning at me kindly, a battle in itself I assure you. Out of all of the people who acted differently towards me, James's attitude was most profound, yet for some reason comforting, even if I had no idea why.

Pity me not because the light of day

At close of day no longer walks the sky

Pity me not for beauties passed away

From field and thicket as the year goes by;

"Yeah." I replied softly... I never knew what to say anymore.

Pity me not the waning of the moon,

Nor that the ebbing tide goes out to sea,

Nor that a man desire is hushed so soon,

And you no longer look with love at me.

"So... I guess Dumbledore also told you that you would be spending the summer with us to?" James questioned further as we walked down the hallway to our mid-day classes on a crisp December morning. "I should warn you, my parents always wanted another girl around the house; so if they make a fuss over you, don't be too surprised."

This love I have known always: love is no more

Than the wide blossom which the wind assails,

Than the great tide that treads the shifting shore,

"James?" I said, stopping in the middle of the deserted hallway, "How do you **do** it? How do your parents do it? How can they lose a son and not be depressed... how can _you_ loose a brother and not have it affect you? Because…" I sighed, "it is killing me."

Turning toward me his eyes glistened for a second before turning gray. "I don't know, you have faith, I guess. Just knowing inside yourself that they will be all right... and look out for you if they are up wherever they are. As for my brother... I don't believe that was him in there. I know him, Lily. He would _never_ do what that guy did. Never." he said before turning back around.

"We are going to be late for our class." He said, before swallowing and turning to face what ever might come his way, leaving me in his shadow.

Strewing fresh wreckage gathered in the gales.

Pity me that the heart is slow to learn

What the swift mind beholds at every turn.

Sighing I packed my trunk for the holidays with the Potters. Never in a million of years would I of fathomed that I would spend my couple weeks of vacation at the Potter's and go without a fight: and a very bloody one at that. Maybe it was my curiosity or questions blurring my judgment. Why in the world my own Uncle not take me in? Are that not what families do? Help each other out? Condescendingly I was being taken in by one of my oldest sworn rivals, in ways I would have preferred Snape to say the least. Only then I would know what to expect from him, but Potter is the other way... I never knew what stupid thing he would say or do next.

It's really kind of funny how life works, isn't it? I softly folded my delicate, breezy, silk dress: Mrs. Potter had sent me a letter over the past couple weeks informing me to bring a "party dress" among other things, even though the last thing I felt like doing was celebrating. However, I still loved the emerald green of the fabric and its coolness to the touch. I was lucky I brought it with me to Hogwarts or else it would have been sold as well. My Uncle gave it to me on my sixteenth birthday, it had been my great Grandmothers and was said to be spun by, or enchanted by fairies. It fit who ever tried it on, which was lucky for me– my grandmother's frame was much shorter and somewhat thinner then my own. After packing I faced the grim reality of staying the holidays with James and his family as I joined my friends in a compartment... destined to take us closer to the future then ever thought possible. It seemed way to early when we arrived back in London; however, the speckled night sky never lied. Neither did a friend's goodbye embraces, nor encouraging smiles.

"Lily, I'm going to miss you." Breanna smiled softly, pulling me into a warm embrace as I melted in her arms.

"You've been good to me. I appreciate it." I said into her ear, thankful for her kindness when she could have easily blamed me... as I blamed myself.

"Lily," she said pulling away to look me in the eyes, "no matter how much you want to, remember _none_ of this was your fault. Never let yourself think other wise... you did more then anyone else could have done, and I admire you for that" she said earnestly as if she could read my mind. Only then did I realize how much I was going to miss seeing my best friend for the long two weeks. It is amazing how your true friends always know what to say… and when to say it. I felt my eyes brimming up as I stared into her misty windows of black.

"Breanna, you are more than a friend could ever ask for... I'm going to miss you."

"Oh Merlin, girl! You're going to make me cry!" Breanna said as we both rubbed our eyes at the same time. "Gosh, this is the most stereotypical chick moment." Bre commented as we both laughed with wet cheeks.

"Yah, it's pretty bad isn't?" I said as we sniffled giggles. Glancing over Breanna I could see James getting somewhat impatient. "I guess I better go" I sadly smiled.

"Yah... well… write me! I want to hear about the pranks Potter is going to pull on you!" She smiled as we hugged another time.

"Ha ha ha, very funny."

"Your reaction will be! See you later!" Breanna waved as she turned to go met up with her family.

James

"Pixie dust! All girls do is hug and cry" Sirius said, coming up beside me, watching with the same bored and disgusted attitude.

"I guess, man, it's fucking crazy" I replied as Lily and her little friend swept each other up into another dramatic hug making me sick, on the outside... yet strangely jealous as my mind took it in. As a guy, you really couldn't do those things with a friend; you always just showed emotion through high fives and pats on the back. Anything else was weird, not to mention questionable. Not that I would mind Lily flinging herself on me in that way, I was damn sure I wouldn't mind one bit. _The thought of her soft body and..._

"JAMES HAROLD POTTER! Do I need to wash your mouth out with **Mrs.Mint's Scouring Soap**!" a voice said sharply, causing me to almost jump into Sirius's arms. I grimaced as I turned around to see my mother staring me down with an extremely large purse flapping behind her, while her piercing gray eyes cut through my own with the support of her hands on her hips. "Where did you pick _that_ up exactly! Have not I _raised you_ right? Or taught you the _proper ways_ of society? I will NOT have you talking like a _scoundrel_, **IS THAT UNDERSTOOD**!" She finished ranting as I even felt Sirius even shrink next to me.

"Yes, Mam', I am sorry." I croaked spinelessly before she took notice of Sirius.

"Oh Sirius, dear, how are you? I do hope you will be spending Christmas with us again, though I am afraid I mis-placed your confirmation... it would be dreadful if you were not to join us." she said elegantly, as my father came beside her.

"Of course Mam', I'd rather be no where else." He said, knowing how to charm her before grinning at my father's slightly winded form. 

"Those **DAMN** Muggles! Took up all of the _fucking_ decent parking spaces!" My father roared.

**_"CHARLES!"_** My mother screamed bewildered as she hit him with her enormous purse to Sirius's and mine amusement.

Lily 

I slowly walked over to where Potter stood, looking sulky for some reason with Sirius. Some older man that I took as his father came up to them as someone screeched. I ran my fingers nervously through my straightened hair before stepping next to James. I nearly died of shock to see some short and plump lady lecturing them all on manners, let alone her amused husband.

"YOU should be setting an example! **HONESTLY**! I need to trade you all in for cats! They would never give me as much trouble as you two! Oh!" She said turning around and spotting my startled face... I never saw James looking so guilty... it was great. "You must be Lily Evans! How _wonderful_ it is to finally met you, I have looked forward to not being the only women in the house among rascals!" she said raising her hand.

I stepped forward and shook her hand, smiling. "Nice to met you, Mrs. Potter, it was kind of you to offer me your home for the holidays." I said watching her face light up.

It was not long before we were all swept away into one of the Potter family's magically enhance sport cars, what I received the jest of being Mr. Potter's favorite type of toys. "Honestly, all this man ever does anymore is play with them, you never see him around unless you are on his race track!" Mrs. Potter said grumbling jokingly from the front seat as I found my self pressed in between the door and James. The car could speed, fly and be invisible, however it still lacked a backseat, and I begun to wonder if the car was meant to have one at all when I found myself pretty close to being in James's lap more then a few times.

"Gosh Lily, I never knew you liked me so much." He whispered sultry into my ear as we bounced down a country road when, yet again, I found myself sprawled out across him. His voice gave me shivers, startling, yet strangely exciting. No matter how much I really wanted to hit him, something held me back, most likely the thought of his parents in the front seat. His crooked grin was lazily splashed on to his face as his heavy lashes created a smoky look about his eyes.

"Oh yes, James how could you tell that I'm dying for a piece of you." I said back in his same sultry tone, running my hand teasingly down his leg just to see his eyes pop. And sure enough, they almost did. I sat up, trying to suppress a grin of amusement as he wiggled in surprise. _Man, I should of recognized his weakness earlier... now I have something to torture him back with! Little empty promises which shall never be fulfilled... _I sighed in contempt. _Yep, Lily, life is going to be great!_ I smiled while watching out of the side of my eye to see him still wiggling and Sirius still sleeping against the other side of the car with drool trickling down the window.

James

**_WOW._**

No other words for it.

**_WOW._**

I never thought Lily would have reacted like that, goblin's gruel; for sure I would of done **THAT** earlier in our little 'relationship'! Honestly I thought my head was going to explode off of my neck! I know the burrito was ready to come out of the oven... it stirred a bit or two just from the closeness of Lily, not to mention the enchanting smell of her. Damn, I for sure thought it was going to explode when she stroked my leg... right next to it. All I could do was sit there and try to control myself; I never had this problem before in front of another girl since I got over puberty. Sure my last, Amy, was a great package, but nothing she ever did made me respond so quickly. Man, I really need to control my shit, so I tried to turn and 'wiggle' it out of Lily's view, there was no fucking way I'd let her see what she did to me. Damn it! Would my heart stop beating so fast already? It's not a FUCKING QUIDDITCH MATCH _Why did I have to shrink the backseat before letting Lily in?_

Author's Note:

Hello! I edited this one too! Are you not proud or what! Okay, so I still might gat some reviews telling me I still need to learn this grammar stuff, but I AM getting there! Well, maybe one day. By the way the "pity me not poem" is by the great Edna Millay. Also I hope everyone is having a happy holidays and a great new start to the new year!

P.s. How DARE James shrink the backseat! ;0)


	16. Wooded Suroundings, Chapter 16

So Lily dear, would you like another Cherry Snap? I had Mooko order enough to have us stalked with it for years!" Mrs. Potter joyfully said laughing. The Cherry rum had seemly started to work its magic on her senses. I swirled my Cherry Snap around the cubes of the non-melting ice. Rippling like blankets over the crystal cubes, it occasionally sparked gold jets of laughing gas at the drinker. I could feel Sirius and James's eyes taking in my every move: waiting for me to get them in trouble with the parents. They tiptoed as if on broken glass around Mrs. Potter and joked like loins with her husband. It was rather fascinating how posh families acted in a normal magical society. The characteristics were all they same; however, the surrounds and lifestyle were topsy-turvy. Take for instance how I am sitting in a plush royal blue chair, with all of its woodwork obviously elfin hand craved (which is extremely expensive to just to even imagine), and sipping a widely known, top of the line, Cherry Snap. For you clueless people out there, this stuff is a _famous_ wizard drink, which has to start brewing a few decades ahead of the time before it even reaches the drinkers lips. Yeah, not at all like the common muggle soda pop or nighttime drink. Amazingly enough, I still couldn't tell if they were trying to: impress me, display their hospitality and/or sympathize for my current state.

"Oh, no thank you, Mrs. Potter. It is quite delicious, however I do not do to well with alcohol." I said lying through my teeth. I actually had a high tolerance, but the deep volcano red was making me dizzy, as pictures of the same penetrating color once dripped the life out of a man's body.

"Are you sure? We have many other drinks too, Mooko is a wonderful little house elf, organizes everything..." Mrs. Potter blabbed on as I unawarely diverted my attention to something else.

The Potter's estate was rather large a modest person would say. It was hidden behind large rusty Iron gates past a few miles of the forest wildlife before opening to a breath taking beautiful mansion surrounded by Mrs. Potter's beloved flower gardens. The Mansion was both impressive and welcoming with its Russian domes and turrets topped with witches hats; a peculiar mixture of architecture however it all came together to create a giant masterpiece. Mrs. Potter told me how for centuries it was passed down through generations of Potters ever since the first one had built it. The founders of Hogwarts school had also offered to buy it, yet when their offers were denied, they took it's style into consideration before deciding on a castle to make birth. "I'd must admit" she had said "I really did not want to live here when I married him, it's too big, however the flower gardens made me change my mind. They are simply divine." she had said when we first caught view of the mansion, and I could see her point. The richness of their 'humble' home was astounding and without the gardens the mansion would have been very intimidating and somewhat frightful.

"Oh my! Look at the time!" Mrs. Potter's shocked voice stopped all conversation, "It is past two in the morning! Lily you must be exhausted! James, will you show your friend to her room? Mooko has set her up in the Rose tower, third floor." she said as I almost flinched when she called me James's friend, she must not have known about our history. James slowly raised, and seemed to keep on growing for a while to reach to his full height in a lazy stretch, a yawning Sirius behind him.

"Night mom, dad." he said before gesturing with his head for me to follow him, "Lily" he said simply. I followed him and Sirius out of the opened room to the hallway and up the grand staircase. "So Lil, how's it going… still thinking up an escape route?" He said lazily as we climbed.

"Hey, I never did." I lied thinking about Breanna's and my playful conversations previously and our various plans we had made in the common room at obscene times in the mornings. "Truly I just could not have waited to spend an entire two weeks with you." I said thinking of his reaction to the car joke earlier.

"Oh really? I could of planned that anytime babe... all you needed of said was where and when." James cunningly replied as I saw a smirk grow on Sirius's bored face.

"Really?" I questioned further just to see how fresh he was going to get.

"Oh yeah..." he said in a deeper voice before I cut him off.

"Hey James, why are you guys such pussies in front of your mom?" I asked which wiped the smirk right off of his face and raised a little color. He looked as if he was going to deny the entire matter, however wisely decided against it. It was way to obvious to contradict or let alone ignore.

"She's my mom," he said simply as we reached the top of the stairs and took a few turns. I decided to leave it, due to the obvious living together situation, as they dropped me off at the "Rose tower" in front of a pinkish door. Sirius who amazingly enough barely spoken that night (other then discussing cars with James's father), found the energy in his tired daze to say "good night" before wandering off in another direction leaving me and James conveniently alone. 

He always seemed impressive from his height and character even when he was being an ass, however this time he seemed as God himself peering down at me in a sleepy gaze. It was rather enchanting as my body seized up in one glance, which rattled my mind as I took on a strange, complex, and entirely new outlook on him. Goodness gracious, who could blame me? Past all of that arrogance, and personality issues, he still was drop dead sexy. I hated him for it. I hated how he tormented me that moment when I lost all senses and blood flow to my brain just by his heavenly lashed eyes gazing down on my smaller figure. He was a momma's boy, it disgusted me, and at the same time was quite appealing.

He must of noticed the strange look in my eyes, and for a moment misplaced himself, nervously fidgeting like no girl has ever seen him do. I almost laughed, sadly I was so wrapped up in the liquor, exhaustion, and him I could have never of brought myself to do it. It was James who found words first, stumbling across the vocabulary and the new feeling it would have looked pathetic to anyone else. "Um... Yeah... here's where you'll stay. I'm in the next tower with Sirius..." he trailed off as I held his gaze enchanted. I softly closed my eyes, took in the comforting smell of a man, before I stepped towards the door... and towards James. I accidentally brushed up against him as he jumped slightly in surprise, before timidly closing in the distance between. I do not know why or how it happened, but all of a sudden we were so close my mouth could touch his chest as his breath sent shivers down my spine with the sporadic warmth. I raised my head to meet his gaze, suddenly excited how his eyes caressed mine, making me want to laugh, cry, and beat the air with joy all at the same time. Slowly he stooped down as I was paralyzed in the moment, numb to anything before or in the future as his lips grazed mine softly. He was testing me, himself, and the dream we wrapped ourselves carelessly in: and I loved every second of it. I gently pressed my lips against his as I used the door to hold myself up. He pressed his body against mine affecting me in a way as never before as I lost all sense of the surroundings or time. The door held us up as sweet gentle kisses danced on our lips. I never new I could feel so wonderful as I did when James kissed me. I didn't want to ever stop. Our hearts hammered together as James broke away, leaning harder on me then before, his head tucked into my hair as he inhaled deeply. Oh shit, I hope I conditioned it. What if was wiry? Or smelly? That would be HORRID! Unaware to myself I shuttered against him as his warm, deep and comforting smell took over me, I wanted to love him like he had never been loved before. "Oh Lily" He huskily whispered into my ear as I nearly trembled in delight form hearing my name grace his beautifully handsome lips.

"Excuse me, Master James, But I was sent to help Miss Evans into her room." Said a squeaky high-pitched voice out of nowhere snapping us out of our trance. James jumped back, sulkily as if he committed a crime and was caught red handed. We both were scarlet; as I burned up I saw an older house elf waiting professionally off to the side, towels floating behind her.

"Umm... Yeah.. Good Night, Lily." James said before walking away down the hall with a weird look upon his face. I closed my eyes, still trying to smell him as he left me, fighting down my scarlet blush, and the desire to trace my lips where his had whispered against my own. 

The house elf took no notice to my current state, and showed me into my room what over took me with luxury as I sat in on the plush bed facing the rose gardens. "I hope you had a good journey, Miss Lily. The entire house was excited to see you come, we like to have visitors, not to mention friends of the family stay." She said as her neat uniform of red and gold ruffled around her as she bustled around the room, adding more zest to the blazing fire in an attempt to warm up the old stone walls. "Now if you need anything, call on me, Missy is my name, alright Miss Lily? Any time, any where." She smiled at me as she shut the fur capped emerald green curtains, covering the nighttime windows, and hiding the glass doors to the small balcony. "Now would you like anything to drink or snack on before you retire to your bed?" she asked as the towels, which had been following her whizzed into the bathroom off to the side.

I stifled a yawn, "No thank you, you have been very kind to me, Missy, but I am about to fall asleep just standing here." I said truthfully as the weight of the extensive day weighed down on my shoulders.

"It is an honor to serve you Miss, now a good night to you." she said before vanishing and repairing at the large semi-circle pink door, and shutting it softly behind her. The moment I changed I collapsed into the soft warmth of my bed and almost instantly feel into a deep sleep. However how I might have slept well, some others did not. James appeared the next morning with dark circles under his eyes, replicating his friends Sirius's; however, James's attitude did not mirror Sirius's obviously annoyed one.

"Good day, mum. _Lily_..." James said smiling and plopping down in a chair across from me.

"Yeah good fucking morning to you too." Sirius grumbled under his breath as he collapsed into a chair.

"James, you two should really learn to go to bed when you are tired. Look at you two! It is a disgrace! What type of impression is that going to leave on your friend Lily here? I would not blame her if she believed you did not honor her enough by resting yourselves to be a good host. It is a disgrace!" Mrs. Potter lectured, which I was beginning to feel she did a lot of.

"I don't think you have to worry about James not being a good host, right Lily?" Sirius said before looking me straight in the eyes, I could practically feel my reddening face. I tried to pretend I was fascinated with buttering my toast, while truly I was praying that I was not as red as my hair.

"Umm, yeah." I said trying not to squeak, I could kill that man. I bit into my toast savoring the fresh herb bread before I came to notice something sliding across my feet. Slowly I peered down, and what I saw took me by surprise.

Authors Note:

Does it seem updated? YES! Because I'm finally editing! In all truth I finally received an AWESOME professor to teach me grammar. The great thing about the internet is that you can always come back and improve your work! Thank you for either rereading or reading for the first time, I sincerely appreciate it!

Sincerely,

Kristin


	17. The Accomplice, 17

I couldn't tell you what was at my feet, opening my eyes I was startled to find myself flat on my back with Mrs. Potter screaming at James and Sirius. "I thought I told you NO SPELLS that are UNHOSPITABLE!l!" She screeched, spitting fire.

"But Mom..."

"Don't you 'Mom' me like some American brute! James HERALD Potter, I've had enough of you treating our guests like your own personal test trolls! That's it! _That's it_! I can not take it anymore, it's the bucket for you!"

The horror spreading across James's face was bewitching, it was so bloody splendid I could not take my eyes off of it. Of course that's when they noticed my silent grin, which brought me back to my senses. "What in the world was that?" I asked confused.

"That would be the work of the one and only Lupin, at your service." Boomed a voice as I whipped around in surprise. An athletic man was looming in the shadows behind the familiar face of Reamus, as if they had appeared from thin air. My hair was all hodgepodged in its monstrosity and my lavender sweatshirt seemed to be just as disheveled and here was the hottest man alive. No kidding. He stopped my heart just with a glance and then struck it with adrenalin within seconds; this was a man made for the movies. He loomed above the rest with his confidence, and took over the room with the twinkle in his ice blue eyes. He belonged next to me. He belonged in the muggle military with his muscles and short hair cut. He belonged with a motorcycle to accompany his exquisite tattoos. He just belonged.

My eyes were still frozen on Lupin's companion as the old friend of James's stepped forward to be welcomed to his comrade's home. My gaze became noticeable to the blond man, who warmly smirked at me from across the room. Then I did what Lily always did, I turned red, removed my gaze and smoothed my jeans like nothing had happened. 

But something had happened, even if I cared to ignore it, James did not. He glared at the man as if he was an intruder, and had his mother continuously snapping at him for his rudeness. "Honestly James, what has gotten into you?" Both Sirius and I knew. He threw me dirty looks as if I was a whore in his friend's game, while James seemed to look through me. I didn't feel bad however. I had no point to. It was just one god forsaken look, and it wasn't as if James and I were together anyways. Still guys are always possessive. 

"OH! You brought Adrian! Charles will be pleased! He has always missed his Auror days. Since his promotion he hasn't been able to talk dark arts to anyone…" babbled Mrs. Potter as if there was no tomorrow.

Dressing for dinner that night was as if I was preparing to take the N.E.W.T.S. Adrian's face swirled through my head causing my heart to pound. This was to be a normal dinner, somewhat more dressy, however, not noticeably so. Carefully sifting through my closet I brought down an emerald sweater that I had purchased at a muggle shop before the term. Made of cashmere its softness had seduced me and the fake diamonds curled into an elegant L, appearing almost as if it was made for me. Pulling the button up sweater over a lighter green tank top, I found matching boots in the far corner composed of a dark green, almost black material. Breanna had bought them for me out of Witch's treasure catalog, and I have loved them ever since. They were the perfect jean boots, always in fashion, since the actual boot shape and heel changed every season to the new "in" style; so I never had to go shopping for another pair of boots. The most important factor was how good they made my butt look in jeans (I mean, how could a girl not adore them?). All of a sudden I lurched, a monster of guilt overriding me. How could I be worrying about how I looked when there was so much more important things in the world? My father's face shinning with laughter and then brimming with tears, as past memories flashed before my eyes. I had to get out. I needed air.

Strolling briskly out to the porch and past the others was easier then I expected. Emersed in a deep conversation no one noticed as practically flew out on to the grand porch. The cold stung my ears and nose, but cooled my eyes. Looking into the yard, the enormous gardens beckoned. The crackling stones beneath my feet lead me to a bench under an old oak tree, sitting down and looking up at the stars was calming. Time seemed to melt as I lost myself in my thoughts only a loud crack brought me back to earth. Jumping up, I was startled to find my self gazing into icy blue eyes that took my breath away.  
"I'm Adrian, a distant cousin of Lupin's." He said simply, sitting down on the bench. Smiling softly at me, "I don't think we have been properly introduced."  
I stared in surprise, he seemed to own the seat with his poise. Sinking back into my seat, "I'm Lily" I said, trying to fight the warmth spreading throughout my body.

"Ah, should of known" Adrian said smiling.

"Known what?" I asked exquisitely.

"Your name. It's derived from the Latin word lilium which means pure at heart." he said smiling down at me outlined by the sinking sun which was tracing designs all over his body with its light.

"Really? And this entire time I believed it to be just a flower." I said, like a dork.

"You are too magnificent to be named just after a flower." He said as I felt my color rise from my toes to my scalp. I hated being a fair redhead, why couldn't I just for once control my skin tones? Was so impossible?

"So what do you do?" I asked trying to change the subject, which caused a small flick of a grin on his part.

"I'm an Auror for the Ministry." he said proudly, nobly stretching, as his complete attitude came into check. The job fitted him perfectly. "I use to go to Hogwarts though, a Gryffindor, such as your self."

I glanced at him in surprise, "How did yo..."

"It's written all over your face." he said leaning over his clasped hands and then turning his head to look up at me, "Also I kinda asked Sirius." He admitted with a quirk of an eyebrow.

With one glance I fell.

All dinner I had to endure James's snotty glances and pay no heed to his sighs. What did he expect? Okay we kissed, like once, and to tell you the truth, it really wasn't that great. Okay, well just a little, however, you could never have a relationship with a guy like James. He was too good for anyone and therefore too good for any rules. I'd be wasting my time, not to mention amercing my self into heartbreak once again. Believe me, I just wanted some innocent fun, and good feelings. I never wanted to feel horrible again. That night a feeling of hatred grew for James. Out of no where it started to blossom, until I despaired the bastard. He was my scapegoat the cause of all problems. Every time I looked at him I would remember our past, every time I looked at him it would take me back to my father's last gift. Every time... I could not take it, I really could not. I wanted something to remove the knot in my throat… I suddenly was craving chocolate so bad... so I settled for some grapes instead.

That night I found myself sneaking out of the Potter's home, which seemed like a mirage hiding the iron doors. I knew why Dumbledore sent me here. He sent me to be watched and analyzed, I could constantly feel Mrs.Potter's eyes on my back with every simple conversation, every little move. It might have been out of interest, but I soon found myself hating her, and it was only my second day there. I wished constantly for a peace at mind, to finally let go and relax, something I haven't been able to do for a long time. 

So I wondered their forest.

Dressed in my eggshell white nightgown with my dark green cloak over my shoulders, I drew the hood over my hair to protect myself from the Christmas chill. I almost felt illegal placing my bare feet against the cool earth. The leaves crackled and the twigs snapped under the thick treetop coverings as I floated as a ghost above them.

I gave myself to the night.

The deep thick air filled my lungs, the stars dimmed from the trees became my light, I became almost animal walking that forest. The light wind sent me shivering while whipping the edges of my cape around my body. Performing a simple warming spell I engulfed my self in warmth before undoing it, realizing I preferred the natural chill. I was a simple mouse in the night. No place to go, no place to be I just floated over the earth's floor which was lightly kissed with an early snow. Thoughts drifted through my head as the night slowly revealed the moon's radiance. At its full glimmering self, it lit up the forest like none other while playing peek-a-boo with the heavy clouds.

I begun to shiver, however, I did not feel cold. All of a sudden the night was too quiet, and too mysterious. In my trembling, I turned towards the house, my frolics in the night over with as the atmosphere seemed to have a more dangerous feel. I turned to look behind my self as my feet clumsily broke twigs and created their own music. Something else was out here. It felt as if Mrs. Potter was watching me again, however, this time murderously. My white night gown seemed to float across the ground as I picked up my pace just to see the moon slip behind a cloud yet again. Something snapped in my wake. Feeling a bit paranoid I pushed on until I was certain there was something alive behind me. My nightgown caught on a bush and I ripped it free in haste, my gown swirling around my body. My heart seemed to stop as I whipped my cape around my shoulders turned on my toes and shouted "lumos!"

The forest lit up as the bushes rustled, and from the way they were shaking I could tell it was a large beast that occupied it. I had my wand ready, as cool sweat begun protrude from my forehead. I could envision my Uncle joking with my father, "No matter where Lily goes, trouble seems to follow."

"Show your self!" I demanded, scaring my self with the unknown. Okay, so I can not die from an attack, but only if I sacrificed myself for someone. That knowledge still did not mute the terror in my heart. To my relief and surprise, a giant stag slowly moved into the clearing, white steam rising from his nose soundlessly. He was simply beautiful.

"Ohh……." I awed in pleasure. To my surprise the stag slowly came closer to me, hesitantly placing one foot before another. The gigantic antlers were soon before me, and his soft coat illuminated by my light as it looked me in the eye. Suddenly it nudged me as if it wanted to be petted, and I complied. It rubbed up against my body, friendly, while I patted its forehead. "You are darling." I spoke softly, if to not scare it. That seemed to egg the creature on as it slowly lifted its head to look me directly in the eyes. I gazed in a frozen trance as our eyes met... there was something oddly familiar in the stag's eyes.

Suddenly our gaze broke, as a howl erupted in the distance. Werewolf. The stag immediately stiffened as my heart begun to pound. Oh to live eternity as a werewolf! There was nothing more frightening in the world at that moment other then the very thought of it. The creature begun to nudge me in a direction towards the thinning forest area, as if reading my mind. Quickly taking the hint I followed the path he had chosen for me. Hastening into a jog that immediately turned into a run as the howling came closer... and still yet closer. Oh how my dear heart beat so. It was simply dreadful, my gown bellowing out behind me, lapping the air as if I was falling down the very shaft of hell. And finally we were there, into an opening as if we were braking the surface of the ocean after a near drowning. As soon as I counted my blessings, however, I tripped, and embraced a new feeling of pain. It wasn't as painful as past vices shaking my body in nightmares, and then was quickly forgotten. Perhaps it was forgotten even more promptly as I finally made eye contact with that bloody werewolf from across the open lawn.

Only James's house would they have a bloody werewolf prowling out doors at night. The monster caught a glimpse of me and I froze, knowing I was doomed. The creature prowled towards me as my friendly stag tried to urgently push me towards freedom, towards shelter. I did not budge. Transfixed I closed my eyes, threw back my head, and open my arms with out hesitation to my fate as all emotion left me. I felt immortal, I felt as if I was the only fire in the world, as if no matter what happened I would be alright. That was the first time in my life I gave in and the most peculiar thing happened. Beyond words, beyond faith, and beyond sight. As the swirling of color stopped and I opened my eyes, I starred directly into those of a werewolf.

Authors Note: sorry for that wait, no excuses can be made for my laziness. I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter In Lily Evans life, and take pleasure out of how much I torture my characters, it's quite fun at times, I must admit. Please review, you owe this update to everyone who has pestered me, and even more so who continuously shoved me to write. Alix, yeah, I think you caused me to finish it tonight. Thank you for reading! And if you want more, review!


	18. Can't Fight The Moonlight, 18

Staring into such eyes would have normally been terrorizing, I found a strange peace. Slowly the creature lost the murderous daze in his eyes as I faithfully starred it down. There were no words for my confidence in my temporary survival. Only the joy of the new found freedom in my furred feet. I could have laughed to myself to know that the key into to anigami was faith. I had turned myself into a White Snow tiger. Unfortunately it was fading fast as the moon inched higher and the snow begun to fall. Seeing my confidence start to drift away, the werewolf was torn away by the black dog's bark, leaving the stag and myself alone. As I morphed back into myself I felt the stag watching my every move in disbelief. I smiled. "Oh give me a break James, if you can do it, I certainly can," I said to the stag who now seemed stunned beyond belief. Slowly it stretched into a human as James appeared from under the fur wonderment playing with his features and curiosity in hisevery move.

_James_

She was smarter then I gave her credit for. "How did you know?' I asked somewhat confused. No one else had figured it out before. She smiled at me in her cute girly way that she did best, "Your eyes."

I hated her. She had me so twisted up that I wanted to throw myself on her and kidnap her from the rest of the men like Adrian. She was like no other, the moonlight outlined her frail body in a draping cloak. She was more Syrian then witch and I was captivated by her silhouette against the moonlight.

I had no control or will to pull away from what my feet lead me to. Walking towards Lily was like walking towards my destiny. With one swoop she was melting into my arms as our lips formed one in pure ecstasy. Losing all sense of time, knowledge or function we stood there until we were blue from lack of air or the chill of it. From that night we had our hardships, disputes and tragedies. Somehow the good times found us more than the bad, torn into history were our souls; however, our love lasted forever in our sole child Harry. Lily gave herself as protection as I did for both. From that pure devotion as she paid in every aspect in her life Harry was touched by more then he knew or even dreamed about as my dear Lily and I loved him past our mortal.

THE END


End file.
